


love me

by happybynana



Series: you saved me [2]
Category: NCT (Band), NCT Dream
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - After College/University, Clinging, Drama, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Jealousy, Light Angst, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Moving In Together, Romance, i can't keep spoiling okok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-07-02 22:03:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 22,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15805443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/happybynana/pseuds/happybynana
Summary: The sequel to ‘tutor me’.Renjun and Jaemin are out of college and working full time,, how will they take on life’s new challenges? (plus their friends' drama?)





	1. uneasiness

**Author's Note:**

> in this, the dreamies are the same age (2 years out of college) and the hyungs are all 2 years older!  
> this is all focused around renmin, but other ships will definitely be mentioned!  
> i didn't tag the hyungs or their ships. i didn't for 'tutor me', and i just think it'd be quite overwhelming to have to take in all the couples/people.  
> i'm only 15, so i probably will make mistakes along the way! (about college, marriage, parenting, jobs, anything)  
> i'm currently in school (we started the 21 ugh) so updates may not be very frequent, but i will be trying my hardest!  
> this is the sequel to Tutor Me, so if you want to get some backstories and possible hints, go read that! (i think I like this better, because i did more planning tbh)  
> have fun reading;) none of it is real:")  
> ps. all the boys are adults in this, but i'm NOT comfortable at all writing anything sexual, so please don't expect it:) if there will be anything even close to sexual references, i will make a note beforehand. or i'll just delete it ((is showering together sexual??? bc like....it can be cute and nonsexual....right?))

_ to hate _

_ is an easy lazy thing _

_ but to love _

_ takes strength _

_ everyone has _

_ but not all are _

_ willing to practice _

_ \- rupi kaur _

 

 

 

“So, which one was your favorite?” Jaemin asked as he walked with his boyfriend out of the apartment complex. He snuck his hand around Renjun’s waist, wanting to be nowhere but in an airconditioned room in that moment. It was  _ hot  _ out. But what Renjun wanted, Renjun got. And Renjun wanted to look at apartments on that specific day, so that’s what the couple did. 

“Hm…” Renjun paused, putting one hand on his hip and the other hand to his chin, looking up. “I think the second one. It’s close to everything, and has a pretty view.” 

“I liked the second one, too. The tub was really cool!” The two walked hand in hand to a nearby coffee shop, where Jaemin flourished in the AC. It was a boiling, mid-July Saturday, and the couple was spending it apartment shopping. 

They sat down at a corner table after ordering. Jaemin smiled at his boyfriend across from him, and took his hand. “So you want the second one?” 

“I think so, is that okay?”

“Of course it is, Ren.” Jaemin had a sly smirk on his face, which meant he had a secret or a surprise. “I talked to my parents, you know? They said that they’re always here to help pay if we need it.” 

“I know…” Renjun laughed. Jaemin was always so concerned about the little details. Specifically, the money details. “You know both of us make plenty, and that  _ both  _ your parents and my mom will always be a phone call away for help.” 

Jaemin made a face to the smaller boy. “Rennie, you know I don’t want money from your mom. She’s all on her own and-”

“ _ Jaemin. _ She works too, you know. It wasn’t just my dad that worked.” Renjun carefully ran his thumb over his boyfriend’s, in attempt to soothe him. “My mom isn’t scared of him. She’s been doing perfectly fine without him.” 

“I know, love. I just get worried about her sometimes, you know?” Jaemin’s face was full of concern, it was obvious to Renjun, and probably obvious to anyone that looked over to the couple.

“She’s doing fine, I promise. She’s even been going to your parents house for wine every Saturday!” the two chuckled, before Renjun assured, “Don’t worry, Minnie. He’s not coming back. He didn’t show up to either of my graduations, do you think he’s going to anytime?”

“I’m sorry for bringing it up… Oh, the boys are texting.” the couple took out their phones to check the group chat that they had created back in  _ high school _ . 

 

**3:44 PM**

**#whowillgetmarriedfirst**

 

**lelele:** so what i’m saying

**lelele:** is we go on it my skin will be clearer

 

**pwarkie:** babe ur skin is already clear u don’t need a rollercoaster for that

 

???

 

**baby♥:** what’d we miss?

 

**thebestestfriendever:** a 300 message presentation on how lele should go to the amusement park

 

**theonefromcanada:** a rollercoaster***

 

**supportsystem:** jisung won’t take him so he’s begging us

 

**pwarkie:** it’s not that deep

**pwarkie:** i have woRK

 

**lelele:** but can’t you take a day off:((((

**lelele:** i just want to see my boyfriend again :((

 

**supportsystem:** it’s not our fault sung took a full time job and you didn’t

 

**lelele:** mine is!! being a vocal coach is VERY tiring and stressful

**lelele:** which is point 301) on why i should be taken to the amusement park

 

**baby♥:** i mean…

**baby♥:** he has a point

 

those kids DO sound stressful

 

**pwarkie:** FINE lele we can go 

**pwarkie:** we’ll go tomorrow ok?

 

**lelele:** THANK YOU BABY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU’RE THE BEST

 

**pwarkie:** i love you too

 

**thebestestfriendever:** markie….

 

**theonefromcanada:** no

 

**thebestestfriendever:** you didn’t even let me finish!

 

**theonefromcanada:** we can cuddle later, ok?

**theonefromcanada:** my boss is being an a@@ about stuff and it’s stressful

**theonefromcanada:** i’m sorry i need to focus :(

 

**thebestestfriendever:** i know dummy. i understand

**thebestestfriendever:** jeno wanna go get supper later then? 

**thebestestfriendever:** since mark’s having a late night again

 

**supportsystem:** of course <3

**supportsystem:** markus don’t worry i’ll send home leftovers for you

 

**baby♥:** so guess what nana and i just did?

 

**pwarkie:** dO TELL

 

**lelele:** ??

 

**baby♥:** APARTMENT TOURING!

 

**supportsystem:** YOU’RE MOVING IN TOGETHER?????

 

**thebestestfriendever:** tbh i saw this coming but like,,, 2 years ago

 

**pwarkie:** yeah i thought you’d move in together right after college

 

no....

we decided to take it slow

but we found the perfect one!

 

**baby♥:** the tUB and scenery is beautiful, it has 2 bedrooms,

**baby♥:** it’s gonna have a jaemin in it, it’s perfect!!

 

**pwarkie:** what’s so important about two bedrooms?

 

**baby♥:** well we need one for our future children of course

 

**supportsystem:** i-

 

**lelele:** aw

 

i just choked on my damn tea

 

**baby♥:** you’re drinking coffee, babe

 

Jaemin looked up from his phone to the boy across from him, flustered. “You really meant that?”

“Of course, silly,” Renjun answered, smiling brightly. “I want to do it  _ all  _ with you; get married, have kids-”

“Um, babe, we’re both two guys. Are you thinking adoption?”

“Maybe. I haven’t looked into it. But someday, we’ll raise a child together, okay?” Renjun held his pinky out for a promise, just like he had been doing since Jaemin met the boy. 

 

Things had changed since high school. The seven had graduated and gone to the same college, which was a blast. For them, it wasn’t about the parties. They had more group hangouts to attend to than parties. They had decided to pair up and rent dorms. Jaemin and Donghyuck roomed with Jeno, Mark and Renjun roomed together, and Jisung and Chenle roomed together. Non of the boys liked alcohol or going to sweaty parties and seeing people throw up on others, so they always just stayed at the dorms. 

There they were, two years later, with the same dumb group chat, and full time jobs. Mark and Donghyuck had been living together since they graduated college; Donghyuck taught KSL lessons, while Mark was a music editor. Jeno moved in with Kun, who was a neurologist, while he was a accountant. Kun had moved back near everyone, and had asked out Jeno (but wanted to keep their relationship private), which made it much easier to hang out. Chenle and Jisung were living together in a condo Chenle’s parents had bought. Chenle was a private vocal coach, while Jisung was a dance instructor. As for Jaemin and Renjun, Jaemin was also a dance instructor at the same company as Jisung, and Renjun worked from home as an editor. Out of the whole group, Renjun and Jaemin had the most flexible hours, which made it easier for them to spend time together.

They still saw the hyungs every so often, now that everyone was in the same city. It was a  _ big  _ city, but nonetheless, they were all there. Out of all the older males, Renjun got to hang out with Sicheng the most. The boy  _ was  _ like a brother to him. Sicheng worked at a daycare full time, but he had off on weekends, so he usually visited Renjun. Sicheng usually liked to soft rant about Yuta in his time; how precious Yuta was, and how Yuta wanted children, and how Yuta wanted to get married. The last one was one of Sicheng’s main concerns. It definitely  _ wasn’t  _ a soft rant.

Gay couples and marriages were slowly becoming accepted in Korea: keyword being  _ slowly _ . Sure, couples had previously gotten married plenty that were LGBT+, but they rarely were accepted. But people were changing, and their acceptance was changing. 

Sicheng’s concern? He was dead sure that Yuta was planning on proposing. The only couple in their whole 18 member group that had even taken that further step was Taeyong and Jaehyun, who had gotten married the previous summer. Yuta had been out before he even transferred to Seoul, but Sicheng, on the other hand, still hadn’t told his parents he liked boys. (it was a  _ slight _ problem) Renjun did his best to calm the older boy down, telling him that he was a legal adult and his parents had no say anymore. 

 

“So, apparently Johnny and Ten are nearly done planning their wedding,” revealed Jaemin as the two cuddled on the couch in Renjun’s apartment Saturday night. 

“Oh my gosh, really? That’s great! I can’t wait to go.” 

Jaemin chuckled, letting his low voice ring through the air. “I’m surprised they didn’t get married earlier, to be honest.”

“Any other couples that are sealing it?” 

Jaemin kissed Renjun’s forehead, something he had been doing since college. “Hm… I don’t think Lucas and Jungwoo will get engaged anytime soon; they seem to like being boyfriends. But you never know. Doyoung and Taeil… I don’t think they  _ want  _ to take the next step, especially with their jobs.” Doyoung was a journalist, and Taeil was a teacher, which meant that if they got engaged, they could possibly lose their jobs for ‘influencing people to do the wrong thing’. Neither minded, however. 

“What about Mark and Hyuck?” asked Renjun, full of curiosity. “Is Mark going to propose to Hyuck anytime soon?”

“I don’t know… he’s hard to tell. I feel like Hyuck is frustrated with him for taking so long. They  _ have  _ been dating since, like, the first year of high school. It’s around the ten year mark, that means.”

Renjun sighed, stealing a chaste kiss from his boyfriend. “That’d be frustrating. Hyuck’s not very open with his problems, either… You should eat lunch with him sometime this week.” 

Jaemin pouted. “But we usually talk over lunch!” 

“Babe.” Renjun had his serious face on. “As much as I love talking to you, Hyuck is your  _ best friend _ . You need to be there for him, too. Tell you what, the day after you go eat and talk with him, we can go on a dinner date. Good?”

“Perfect. I’ll text him later tonight.” Jaemin grinned and leaned in for another kiss from his boyfriend. Kissing was one of his favorite things to do with the boy, in second place after cuddling. 

 

**9:09 PM**

**thebestfriendever**

 

hycukie<33

wanna get lunch with me tuesday??

or whatever day you’re free

 

i’m free tuesday

 

sweet!! 

11 @ our fav?

 

sure:)

 

are you okay hyuck?

 

yeah totally fine

:)

i have a new class next week and am planning the new lessons

just stressed 

 

:(

I miss you

 

I miss you too

 

Is mark with you right now?

 

no 

he’s working late remember

 

oh...

I’m always here to talk, you know that right?

 

I know

I don’t need to talk

I’m just stressed

Nothing i can’t handle

See you tuesday?

 

yes:) 

See you<333

I love you

 

ily2

 

That night, Jaemin snuggled up next to Renjun, being the little spoon for once. There was an uneasy feeling in his stomach, except he couldn’t tell why. 


	2. content...?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Unless it’s hiding a body. I will not hesitate to turn you in."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sips tea*

_ love is not cruel _

_ we are cruel _

_ love is not a game _

_ we have made a game _

_ out of love _

_ \- rupi kaur _

 

 

 

Sunday mornings were Jaemin and Renjun’s favorite time of the week. Every Sunday morning, the couple would make breakfast together. They had decided on something simple that morning: Belgian waffles. It always worked like so: both would get the ingredients and everything they needed, then Jaemin would do the actual cooking, and Renjun would decorate with toppings and get any drinks that were wanted. They had a special rule that no one was allowed over on Sunday mornings; it was their private time for  _ only  _ them. 

So when Lucas and Jungwoo knocked on their door at 8:30 in the morning, the couple was  _ not  _ happy. Jaemin and Renjun were still in pajamas, because their favorite thing was to cook in pajamas, so Jaemin decided to answer the door. 

Jaemin opened it, revealing an exciting looking Jungwoo and Lucas. “ _ What  _ do you want? Renjun and I are cooking breakfast.”

“Ooh, breakfast? Can we joi-” Lucas started, getting cut off by the man next to him. 

“Lucas, Sunday morning’s are their thing. The whole group knows and respects that. We’re not intruding.” Jungwoo then turned to Jaemin, offering a smile. “We just wanted to give you exciting news; you’ll be the first to find out!” 

So Jaemin ushered them in quickly, wanting to be a good friend, but mainly just wanting his Sunday breakfast. 

“So…” started Jungwoo. “The news is-”

“I proposed, and we’re getting married!” spoiled Lucas, completely cutting him off. He wrapped his arms around Jungwoo, kissing his forehead. “I love this man with  _ all  _ my heart!” 

“Aw, I love you too, but we agreed,” Jungwoo lowered his voice. “that  _ I  _ got to spoil the news,” he whined. Renjun and Jaemin freaked out with them for a few minutes, making sure to congratulate them, before promptly kicking them out. 

 

The rest of Sunday was spent cleaning both apartments. They started at Renjun’s and ended at Jaemin’s. (Renjun wasn’t going to lie, he totally liked Jaemin’s bed better. It was fluffier.) There was tons of dancing, singing, and kissing involved, but neither would’ve changed it. Cleaning with the other just made it more lively. After cleaning, the couple decided to go out for dinner together. It wasn’t anything fancy, just their local favorite restaurant since high school. They had confirmed with their landlords about how they were moving, and only had to pack up all their boxes and put in an offer. 

“So,” Jaemin started, wrapping his hand around his boyfriend’s as he was used to doing. “What do you think about Jungwoo and Lucas? I definitely didn’t see it coming.”

“I’m happy for them. They care about each other enough to last,” replied Renjun, lovingly and shamelessly staring at the man across from him. 

“Rennie, do you think moving in together is the right choice for us?” 

Renjun rolled his eyes, but he understood that Jaemin was serious. “Min, I’m in love with you. I literally have been since I met you, and you helped me open my locker. I’m not leaving you, and I sure hope that you won’t leave me. I  _ trust  _ you. I care about you. I want to wake up next to you every morning and make breakfast together.” 

Jaemin, a little taken back from the sudden confession, simply took Renjun’s hand and placed a small kiss to it. “I’m in love with you too, you know. I just want to be together with you forever, and I want you to be one hundred percent on board with living together.” 

“I’m always on board with you a hundred percent.  _ Unless  _ it’s hiding a body. I will not hesitate to turn you in.” 

The couple shared a few laughs, before the food arrived. 

 

**9:34 PM**

**love love**

 

**lelele:** I JUST HEARD THE NEWS FROM SUNGIE

**lelele:** CONGRATS JUNGWOO AND LUCAS HYUNG 

**lelele:** I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU

 

**pwarkie:** literally. he won’t stop screaming. 

**pwarkie:** when i moved in with him i should’ve bought earplugs

 

**lelele:** SHUT you love me

 

**pwarkie:** you’re not wrong

 

**TY:** congratulations jw & lucas!! 

 

**ijustwantsomemilk:** i’m happy for you two!!

 

**kunnie:** so very happy for you! 

 

**supportsystem:** same<3

 

**DY’s:** AWE when will the wedding be?

 

**Taeil’s:** I BETTER be the best man. I’m watching you

 

**tennie:** SO HAPPY FOR YOU TWO

**tennie:** but you’re not getting married until johnny and i do

 

**johnnie:** just...yeah. All he said tbh

 

**xuxi:** THANK YOU ALL<333

 

**junguwu:** we don’t know when it’ll be… but it’ll eventually happen!

**junguwu:** maybe the summer after johnten?????

 

**xuxi:** babe your mind

**xuxi:** let’s do it

 

Congratulations again!

 

**baby♥:** yes, congrats<3

 

**yuta’s:** yay so happy for you two!!! I can’t wait for the wedding

 

**sicheng’s:** i can’t wait for another wedding either…

 

**yuta’s:** YES speaking of which, johnten, have you confirmed the date yet?

 

**johnnie:** yes! we’re thinking an autumn wedding

 

**sicheng’s:** :((

 

**thebestestfriendever:** sorry i’m late but I can’t wait for either of your weddings!! They’re gonna be so beautiful<33

 

**TY:** aw were you and markie eating dinner??

 

**ijustwantsomemilk:** aww

 

**thebestestfriendever:** no he’s at work

**thebestestfriendever:** i was just perfecting the next ksl lesson for my munchkins:) 

 

**yuta’s:** kids are so cute ugh my heart

 

**DY’s:** right??? Us three have the luckiest jobs in the world

 

Renjun, who was snuggled into Jaemin’s side, took one glance at Jaemin, who knew exactly what he was saying. 

 

**9:46 PM**

**thebestestfriendever**

 

we all know your lessons are always perfect right away

you never look them over until before class

 

…

i’m trying new methods 

apparently going over stuff before bed keeps it in your mind longer

 

you’ve never used that method

not even in high school

listen. 

you don’t have to tell me what’s going on, okay?

it’s your decision.

but I’ll always be here for you.

there’ll always be a hug waiting for you.

 

i know nana

Thank you

I love you

 

I love you too..

 

now go back to cuddling renjun

he’s too important to lose

don’t use your precious time with him to text me

ok? 

 

hyuckie….

 

goodnight. 

see you tuesday 

 

“You okay?” asked the person underneath Jaemin’s arm.

Jaemin sighed, running his hand through Renjun’s hair. “He’s...he’s turned so cryptic. He always has been, but it’s gotten worse. I don’t know what to do. He won’t tell me what’s going on.”

“He will. Maybe he just needs time.” Renjun propped up on his elbows, peppering kisses to Jaemin’s face. “You have to wake up early tomorrow, you should go to bed, darling.” 

“.... You’re right, Rennie.” The lights were shut off.

“I’m always right.” 

Donghyuck’s messages were running through Jaemin’s mind. 

“Hey, Ren?”

“Yes, Min?”

“I love you.”  _ he’s too important to lose. _

“I love you too. Now go to sleep.”  _ don’t use your precious time with him to text me… _

 

The next morning, Jaemin woke up in his small apartment bed to an empty space. For a flash of a second, he thought Renjun had left him, until he came to realization that it was  _ Renjun _ . He trudged into his kitchen at seven in the morning, only to find his boyfriend sitting in front of two plates, reading something on his phone. 

“Good morning, love.” Jaemin brushed aside Renjun’s bangs and leaned down to kiss his forehead. “Why are you up so early?”

“I know you sometimes are in a rush and forget to eat breakfast before work, but I didn’t want that to happen today.” Renjun proudly watched as Jaemin dug into the food. “Plus, I just wanted to see you before work.” 

“It’s very delicious!” Jaemin complimented, trying to uplift the mood before they talked about more difficult topics. “So I suppose this means  _ you’ll  _ be working the rest of the day, and I won’t be able to see you?” It was easy for Jaemin to see right through Renjun. His boyfriend always had the best intentions, including when it came to his job. 

“There’s a new company that wants to meet with me about their website… I have to go into their office at three, otherwise I’ll just be doing usual work from my apartment the rest of the day. Wait, no... At seven tonight, I have an important video call with one of my clients, you know the one that had me help design her blog? Yeah, she wants to do a checkup, so I hope she’s still satisfied…” 

Jaemin could only smile. His boyfriend truly loved his job, and he frequently expressed it. “You’ll do great today, Rennie. You always do.” 

“What about you? What are you doing today?”

“Well, I have a private one on one session this morning, and then Jisung, Ten, and I do the college dance classes for the rest of the morning. I have to make a choreography for the future showcase for my group… Then at 3:30 starts the high school and under lessons. Just a usual day, I guess.” 

The words ‘we won’t be seeing each other tonight’ were left unspoken. They had done it before, but most nights one would go to the other’s apartment and crawl in bed to cuddle. Sometimes, they wondered why they hadn’t moved in together sooner. 

After quickly eating, Renjun led Jaemin to the bathroom, where he blow dried Jaemin’s hair after Jaemin showered. 

“I won’t be seeing you tomorrow, either,” he softly said into Jaemin’s ear, making eye contact through the mirror. “You have your lunch date with Hyuck and work, obviously, and I’m going to visit Sicheng and then Chenle.” 

Jaemin visibly pouted, before trying to focus on positive things. “We’ll FaceTime and text though, right?”

“Right. Now stand up, you need to get dressed and leave for work.” Renjun and Jaemin both got to wear quite comfortable clothes for work; as a dancer, Jaemin got to wear loose clothes, and as an at home employee, Renjun got to wear whatever he wanted. 

When Jaemin left his apartment to go to work, Renjun left too. They stopped outside of Renjun’s car door, looking into each other’s eyes. 

“I’ll see you Wednesday, then?” asked Renjun, even though it wasn’t really a question. One way or another, he  _ would  _ find a way to see his boyfriend. 

“Of course, Rennie, Wednesday is when we officially sign the apartment papers! Plus you promised me that dinner date~ Make sure start packing, okay?” Jaemin took Renjun’s hand, not breaking eye contact, just like he always did. 

“I will, you start packing too.” Renjun then gave a short kiss to Jaemin’s lips. “Have a good day at work~” And he got into his car, leaving for his own apartment. Jaemin just grinned to himself and left for the dance studio. 

 

Jaemin’s favorite part about his job was that he got to see two of his close friends, Jisung and Ten. They were fellow dance instructors, and they all equally took pride in their work. Jaemin wouldn’t say he was the  _ worst  _ out of all of them, for he had health issues, so it wasn’t really his fault. Jaemin usually prefered teaching classes  _ with  _ the other two, unless it was the 3 year old class. He  _ loved  _ that class. Some days, he spent more time cooing over how cute they were than actually teaching them anything. 

“Hello, hoes!” Jaemin announced his arrival as he walked into the studio, where Jisung and Ten already were. 

“Hey, Nana~” said the shorter male. Ten smacked his butt as he set down his bag, which Jaemin was fully used to and comfortable with. Ten was always a naturally touchy person. They were just ‘strictly forbidden from touching in front of the kids’, which Jaemin found pretty dumb. 

“Renjun drop you off?” asked Jisung, looking up from his phone with a little wave. 

“No, I drove here alone. He spent the night at mine, but he has work to do today.” 

“Awe, that’s cute,” smiled Jisung. “Chenle literally tried kicking me when I tried kissing him goodbye.” Everyone knew Jisung  _ wasn’t  _ actually hurt by that, for Chenle was a monster while sleeping. How Jisung put up with it was a mystery.

“I dropped off Johnny at work,” commented Ten. “We both get really clingy and touchy in the mornings, so it was hard for him to get his ass out of the car.” 

Jaemin dropped to the ground to stretch. “We’re all happy, though.”

“That’s right, we are.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sips tea again*
> 
> alSO STREAM WE GO UP IT'S THE BEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN TO ME GO WATCH IT!!!!


	3. happy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> johnnie: um… yuwin are you okay??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im in hell (school) so updates may not be as fast,, but yeah guess what i did instead of studying for my biology test tomorrow?  
> don't stay in school kids it's not worth it (ok besides the drama. im sippin on my tea watching everything crash and burn.)

_do you need me_

_or do you need someone_

_there is a difference_

_\- rupi kaur_

 

 

 

Monday night, Jaemin and Renjun FaceTimed each other, as promised. Renjun was finishing up some work, while Jaemin was just enjoying the through-phone presence of his boyfriend, holding the phone over his face while laying in bed. Renjun was softly humming a tune he didn’t recognize. Jaemin loved listening to Renjun sing, especially before bed. He had discovered Renjun’s love for music one college afternoon when he snuck up on the boy singing. To say the least, Renjun was Jaemin’s all-time favorite singer.

“Hey, baby?”

Renjun smiled and turned towards the camera. “Yes, Minnie?”

“Are you happy?”

“Of course I am, silly.” Renjun frowned, trying to read Jaemin’s expression. “What’s wrong?”

Jaemin forced a smile. “Nothing is, I was just making sure. I want you to be happy.”

“I’m with you; I’ll always be happy.”

Jaemin smiled, trying to hide his blush, and let the silence take over for a few minutes.

“Hey, Rennie?”

“Yes, Min?”

“I don’t know if I can sleep without you by my side.”

“I’ll sing you to sleep, how’s that?” Renjun closed his laptop in front of him, turning all of his attention onto Jaemin. Jaemin turned off his lights and tried to get comfortable, as Renjun sang Jaemin’s favorite song. After the song was over, and Jaemin was asleep, Renjun softly whispered, “Goodnight, Minnie. I love you.”

 

The next morning, Renjun decided to take the day off of work. He worked from home, so it wasn’t much of a difference, but he had plans for the day. The plans? Visit Sicheng, then Chenle, and then start packing. Renjun was nervous, but excited at the same time to move in with Jaemin. _Jaemin’s been my boyfriend for years now...It shouldn’t be weird, right? I love him. Yes. I love him. There’s nothing weird about me moving in with him. He loves me too. He always says so. He wouldn’t change his opinion..._

After showering and changing, Renjun grabbed his keys and headed to Sicheng and Yuta’s apartment. Yuta answered the door, buttoning up his shirt for work.

“Oh, hey Renjun!” Yuta grinned. “I haven’t seen you in, like, forever. How are you and Jaemin?” he closed the door behind the small man walking in.

“We’re doing great, as normal. We’re actually starting packing our apartments up today.”

“That’s right, you’re moving in together!” Yuta started putting his shoes on, obviously preparing to leave. “I always thought you’d just live together right after college, but I guess this works too.”

At that moment, Sicheng walked out of the bathroom. He greeted Renjun and then turned to Yuta, placing his hands on Yuta’s chest. “Alright, babe, got your keys?”

“Yep.” Yuta kissed Sicheng’s hand.

“Lunch?”

“Of course.”

Sicheng leaned in, placing a quick kiss on Yuta’s lips. “Have a great day at work, don’t forget your bag.” Renjun almost thought that he was intruding on the couple’s routine. Yuta said bye to the two, and then left for work.

As soon as Yuta left, Sicheng let out a huge sigh of relief. “ _Thank you_ for saving me. He usually smothers me with kisses while I’m checking his stuff.”

“You don’t like it? I thought it was cute. Don’t you usually smother him too?” the two sat down on Sicheng’s couch, more than comfortable around each other.

“Yeah, I do…” Sicheng trailed off, looking nervous. “It’s just- it’s been awkward around him, I guess. He keeps hinting at a proposal…”

“You’re not ready?”

“No, I’m ready. I _want_ to marry Yuta. I’m dead set on marrying that man.” Sicheng had a firm, but scared expression. “But my parents still don’t know that I’m gay or that I’m dating him. How am I supposed to have a wedding when my parents won’t even come? I haven’t even introduced Yuta to my parents, what will-”

“Sicheng, relax.” Renjun pulled Sicheng onto his lap, soothingly running his hands through Sicheng’s hair. “Nothing bad will happen. You’re an adult, your parents don’t have a say in whether you date _or_ marry Yuta. They love you, give it a chance. If they disown you or something crazy, you always have the seventeen of us right behind you to comfort you.”

The two continued talking for the rest of the morning.

 

“Hyuckie?” Jaemin was seated at his and Donghyuck’s favorite restaurant. As soon as Donghyuck walked in, Jaemin engulfed him in a hug. He took a second to take in the view before him. Donghyuck looked more tired than usual, eye bags more than visible, and he looked skinnier than usual. Jaemin knew how Donghyuck had always struggled with his weight, but he had adamant faith that his best friend wouldn’t do anything bad. But this Donghyuck, to Jaemin, seemed different. _Worn out_.

“How are you doing?” he asked, genuinely concerned on the wellbeing of Donghyuck.

Donghyuck took a long breath and smiled. “I’m doing good. Work has been stressful, but that’s just work… What about you? How are you and Renjun?”

“Me...Me and Renjun? We’re normal. Happy. Content.” _Why has he been so concerned about Renjun?_ “How are you and Mark?”

Jaemin never thought he’d see his best friend _choke_ on noodles. But apparently fate had a different plan, because as soon as Jaemin asked Donghyuck about him and Mark, Donghyuck proceeded to start choking.

After Donghyuck’s choke attack, he cleared his throat and meekly smiled. “Sorry. Mark and I are normal. When are you and Renjun moving in together?”

Jaemin tried to push down his possible bad thoughts. “We’re starting packing tonight, and we’re moving in next week.”

“Ah...that’s good.” Donghyuck continued eating his noodles, before asking another question. “Make sure nothing changes when you start living together, okay? I don’t want anything bad happening.”

 _What is he talking about?_ “Don’t worry, Hyuck. Nothing bad will happen. We practically live together already.” _If he wanted to just talk about Renjun, I could’ve brought him along._

“I’m just making sure. I care about you two.”

“I know.” _Just change the subject, Jaemin. It’ll be easier._ “So, let’s talk about your KSL kids, hm?”

 

Renjun went over to Chenle and Jisung’s apartment early afternoon. Out of their whole 18 member friend group, the two youngest’s apartment was his favorite. There wasn’t anything special in the apartment, but Chenle’s mom was an interior designer, so the whole place screamed _aesthetic_.

“Lele!” Renjun screamed when Chenle opened the door. Chenle immediately bear hugged him, switching to Chinese like they always did.

“I missed you _so_ much,” Chenle gushed. “So has Jisung.”

“Jaemin and I missed you too.” the two walked in and plopped down on Chenle’s couch. “How are you and Jisung doing?”

“We’re great!” Chenle excitedly replied, a huge grin breaking out on his face. “He’s such a sweetheart, honestly. We’re thinking of getting a dog together! We’ve been dating for, like, a _long_ time now, so we want to be dog parents together.”

“Oh my gosh, really? You’ll have to invite me over to meet it when you get it; I’ll totally dog sit anytime you need.”

“Thank you, bestie! How are you and Nana?”

“We’re doing amazing; I really love him. I’m excited to move in together.” Renjun thought about it for a few seconds.  _Jaemin and I_ are _happy, right? Yes...of course we are. I shouldn’t overthink this. We_ love _each other. Nothing bad can happen if I have Jaemin by my side. We’ve been dating for nearly eight years; I shouldn’t doubt him one bit. Should we get a dog, too? Ooh...I wonder if Jaemin-_

Renjun was shook out of his trance by Chenle. “You okay? You were really zoned out there.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I was just thinking of Jaemin.”

“Awe, that’s cute.” As if reading his mind, Chenle added, “Don’t worry about moving in with him. It doesn’t change that much. When Jisung and I moved in together, the only thing that really changed was that we started cleaning together.”

“You don’t get in a lot of arguments?”

Chenle chuckled. “Are you serious? It’s _me_ and Jisung, of course we argue. We’re a couple; we fight all the time! It wouldn’t be a healthy relationship if we didn’t fight occasionally.”

“Then, how do you deal with fighting?”

The younger boy laid on Renjun’s lap. “We love each other. No argument will change that.”

“Wow, Chenle...that’s really wise. Maybe you are growing up~”

“Oh, shut up.” and a pillow was aggressively thrown at Renjun’s head, starting a pillow fight.

 

-

 

Later that evening while Renjun was sorting through his drawer, his phone went off, signalling an incoming FaceTime call from Jaemin. His boyfriend’s grinning face appeared a few seconds later.

“Hey, babe!”

_“Hello, Rennie~ Guess what I just found?”_

“What?” Renjun put down the box he was holding and put all his attention to the boy on his screen.

Jaemin held up two bracelets, which Renjun remembered distinctly from their second year anniversary. _“You know how you thought you lost yours? Well, I’ve been cleaning and packing, and it turns out it had only fallen behind my nightstand!”_

Renjun was more than relieved. Jaemin had bought the matching gold and silver bracelets for him, and Renjun completely broke down when he lost his. “Oh my gosh, thank you! I felt _so_ bad about losing it.”

_“You didn’t even lose it, silly; it’s right here! No worries, my love~”_

If there wasn’t a screen in between them, Renjun would have kissed Jaemin right then and there. “I love you, Minnie. You’re seriously the best.” _We love each other…_

 _“I love you too, Ren.”_ The two then said goodbye. _No argument can change that._

 

**5:55 PM**

**love love**

 

 **tennie:** hoes

 

 **johnnie:** we have an announcement

 

 **TY:** ????

 

do spill

 

 **supportsystem:** tea??

 

 **pwarkie:** spill

 

 **Taeil’s:** what

 

 **xuxi:** omg is ten pregnant

 

 **junguwu:** babe…

 **junguwu:** that wasn’t funny

 **junguwu:** stop laughing it really wasn’t funny

 

 **DY’s:** um ok then

 

 **xuxi:** i tried!!!

 

 **lelele:** and failed :/

 

 **yuta’s:** lmao

 

 **baby♥:** so….johnten??

 

 **johnnie:** well….

 

 **tennie:** we have a wedding date!!!

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** WAIT WHAT

 

 **TY:** OMG

 

YAY

 

 **sicheng’s:** omg omg omg

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** WHEN?

 

 **johnnie:** october 21st!!!

 

 **tennie:** our anniversary

 

 **junguwu:** awwwwwww

 

 **kunnie:** yayyy!!!!

 

 **baby♥:** do you have everything planned??

 

 **tennie:** yep! we’re just working on finishing touches

 

 **Taeil’s:** wait so the wedding is in 2 months???

 

 **johnnie:** more like nearly one and a half, but yes

 

 **lelele:** YAY IM HAPPY FOR YOU

 

 **pwarkie:** ME TOO

 

 **yuta’s:** i can’t wait<333

 

 **supportsystem:** i’ll clear off my calendar for that day!!

 

 **tennie:** yall better

 **tennie:** otherwise im changing the date

 

 **baby♥:** WE’LL ALL BE THERE

 

 **TY:** so you’re actually having a fall wedding,, aww

 

 **johnnie:** the actual ceremony is indoors, but we’re taking outdoor photos

 

 **junguwu:** XUXI DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

 

 **kunnie:**???

 

 **xuxi:** WHAT

 

 **junguwu:** WE’RE GETTING MARRIED NEXT SUMMER

 

 **xuxi:** OMG

 

 **pwarkie:** OMG

 

 **lelele:** omg-

 

 **baby♥:** omg

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** omg yay

 

 **junguwu:** i need to start planning

 

 **xuxi:** whatever plan later kiss now

 

 **yuta’s:** so happy for both couples<333

 

 **sicheng’s:** me too<3

 

 **supportsystem:** who’s next though??

 

 **sicheng’s:** o_o

 

 **baby♥:** …

 

 **TY:** markhyuck?

 

 **yuta’s:** babe, come here

 **yuta’s:** i need to talk to you ab something.

 

 **sicheng’s:** ok?

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:**??

 

 **Taeil’s:** oh?

 

 **baby♥:** sO chensung

 

?

 

 **lelele:**??

 

 **pwarkie:** yes?

 

 **baby♥:** spill the tea ab the **g

 

 **DY’s:** ???

 

 **kunnie:**????

 

 **thebestestfriendforever:**.

 

 **supportsystem:** do tell?

 

 **lelele:** oh yeah

 **lelele:** we’re getting a dog!!!

 

 **tennie:** what kind???

 

 **TY:** yay!

 

 **pwarkie:** i just got a picture from the owner!

 **pwarkie:** it’s still a puppy

**pwarkie:**

 

 **lelele:** we get to pick it up in a few days!!

 

omg that’s the cutest thing ever

 

 **baby♥:** awwwwwwwww

 

 **supportsystem:** what are you naming it???

 

 **lelele:** mochi :)

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** ok that’s really cute aw

 

 **kunnie:** adorable aw

 

 **DY’s:** babe,, can we get one??? Please???

 

 **Taeil’s:** we’ll see….

 

RENNIE CAN WE

 

 **baby♥:** let’s focus on moving in right now<3

 

 **[** **_sicheng’s_ ** **left the group chat]**

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:**??? what happened

 

 **TY:** ???

 

 **johnnie:** um… yuwin are you okay??

 

 **yuta’s:** ….

 **yuta’s:** can i stay over at someone’s house tonight?

 

 **tennie:** of course

 **tennie:** johnny and i have cuddles ready for you:(

 

what happened?

 

 **baby♥:** did he not take it good???

 

 **kunnie:** what?

 

 **yuta’s:** i guess i should explain…

 

 **baby♥:** you don’t have to

 

 **yuta’s:** no. i should

 **yuta’s:** so yuta’s been hinting at a proposal for,, a while

 **yuta’s:** but

 **yuta’s:** my parents still don’t even know i’m gay or have a boyfriend

 **yuta’s:** they haven’t even met my BOYFRIEND yet

 **yuta’s:** and i feel really bad

 **yuta’s:** but i can’t marry him until my parents know

 **yuta’s:** they moved back to china last year bc they missed it so much

 **yuta’s:** and it’s not like i can just fly over to china w him right now,,

 **yuta’s:** we both have jobs to attend to

 

 **tennie:** oh sweetie…

 

 **lelele:** :(((

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** did you tell him that?

 

 **yuta’s:** yes…

 **yuta’s:** he said that he’s

 **yuta’s:** ‘disappointed because he already had everything planned’ and

 **yuta’s:** ‘disappointed that my parents don’t know yet’

 **yuta’s:** how am i supposed to tell them???

 **yuta’s:** i don’t even know if they’re accepting to gay couples

 

 **kunnie:** he shouldn’t have said that.

 **kunnie:** he’s known that your parents don’t know.

 **kunnie:** he knew that when he started dating you.

 

 **TY:** he shouldn’t behave like this..

 

 **pwarkie:** i’m here for you<33

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** where is he now???

 

 **yuta’s:** idk… he stormed out of our apartment.

 **yuta’s:** i don’t want to be home if he’s gonna be mad

 **yuta’s:** hell i don’t even know if he’s gonna come home

 

 **supportsystem:** oh baby:(((

 

 **DY’s:** doyoung and i are on our way to johnten’s to help give cuddles

 

 **baby♥:** did you tell him the other part

 

????

 

 **yuta’s:** yes.

 **yuta’s:** i told him that i want to marry him

 **yuta’s:** but i dont want to until my parents know

 

 **kunnie:** there’s nothing complicated ab that.

 **kunnie:** he should be understanding.

 **kunnie:** jeno and i are coming over to johnten’s also

 **kunnie:** i’ll make you supper

 

 **TY:** jaehyun and i will stop by in the morning

 **TY:** i’ll make you some breakfast

 

 **lelele:** pwark and i will visit after work

 

ren and i will also visit after work too

 

 **thebestfriendever:** i’ll visit you tonight also

 **thebestfriendever:** i’ll stay over night too

 

 **junguwu:** lucas and i are on our way also

 

 **yuta’s:** i love you guys:(((

 

 **kunnie:** we love you too.

 **kunnie:** no one should be treated like this.

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** is mark coming too hyuck??

 

 **thebestfriendever:** idk. ask him

 

oh hyuck…

 

 **thebestfriendever:** i’m fine

 

 **junguwu:**????

 

 **TY:** ??

 

 **pwarkie:**???whats going on

 

 **thebestfriendever:** nothing don’t worry about it haha

 **thebestfriendever:** mark prolly wont be coming,, he’s busy making cash!

 **thebestfriendever:** we love a money making king

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** tell him i say hi!

 

..

 

 **thebestfriendever:** will do:)

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of things went down buttt my personal favorite parts: chensung uwu & johnten (kudos go entirely to chenle for the wise words you go boy)
> 
> stream we go up :)))  
> [oh yeah also dear dream is literally KILLING me like 'i'll be your home' okay im gonna go cry in a corner for the rest of my life]
> 
> goodbye stream we go up & support nct


	4. lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> he’s your BOYFRIEND.
> 
> you’ve been together since literally senior year of high school.
> 
> don’t be fucking dumb.
> 
> think about sicheng.
> 
> sicheng needs your support right now.
> 
> fucking talk to him. don’t leave him alone.
> 
> this ‘argument’ isn’t worth it.
> 
> you fucking love him.
> 
> fucking get control of yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> johnten is hyuck's parents this is not up for debate i don't make the rules

_ is it love _

_ if they don't even know _

_ how to love themselves _

_ \- rupi kaur _

  
  
  


*that same night*

 

**7:23 PM**

**Yuta**

 

yuta.

 

renjun

what do you wanrt

 

what are you doing rn?

 

nthing

 

....

are you drinking?

 

nop

 

oh my god yuta

this is NOT how you handle situations

 

well you don’t understand the JSITUATION clearly

 

think your actions carefully, please.

you’re hurting sicheng a lot right now.

 

as ifr he didntt hurt me

 

idk ab you, but i’d be more mad if he DIDN’T tell you before you proposed

think through your actions and your words.

 

bullshditr

 

yuta. 

he’s your BOYFRIEND. 

you’ve been together since literally senior year of high school.

don’t be fucking dumb.

think about sicheng.

sicheng needs your support right now.

fucking talk to him. don’t leave him alone.

this ‘argument’ isn’t worth it.

you fucking love him.

fucking get control of yourself.

[not delivered]

 

**7:36 PM**

**fellowchinese**

 

renjun!!!

 

chenle!!

 

wanna see more baby mochi pictures???

 

omg yes

  


 

omg so cute

when are you picking him up?

 

friday:) 

i can’t waitttt

 

me either!!!

 

the yuwin drama is a big oof

 

right? 

i texted yuta 

do you know what he’s doing

 

what ?

 

his dumbass is drinking

 

Are you-

can we kill him?

 

literally im considering it right now

sicheng needs him rn

 

:(( 

i love yuta

but what the fuck is going on

it’s totally reasonable for sicheng to feel that way

 

i know…

i hope yuta doesn’t do anything stupid

 

*even more stupid 

what are we gonna do???

 

i don’t think we can do anything…

it’s their situation

 

...true…

my baby’s home byebye i love you!!!

 

I love you too<3

and i love jisung also

see you tomorrow!!

 

<33

  
  


Jaemin sighed from his kitchen floor. He had been sorting through his cabinets, but he was so stressed about his friends that nothing productive happened. After thinking about everything that had been going on, he decided to text Mark. 

 

**7:54 PM**

**theonefromcanada**

 

hey mark

 

jaeminnn

what’s up

 

have you been,,,

reading,,, the groupchat

 

??no

i’ve been working

im taking a quick break rn tho

Why??

 

oh...

there’s just yuwin drama

 

ahhh i’ll read it later

 

how are you and hyuck???

 

we’re good 

 

oh thats good

wait

shouldnt u be texting him instead of me

its your break

 

i know,,

i asked if he wanted to call

but he said hes busy so :/

 

are you sure you two are okay

 

yeah of course

 

mkay :)

 

how are you and renjun?

 

we’re good,

signing the papers tomorrow

so we’ll be able to move in starting thursdya

we’re gonna move this weekend tho

 

ahh exciting!!

i have to go back to work,,

Let’s meet up soon:)

 

byebye<3

[read]

 

Jaemin only could roll his eyes at the text messages. He decided to clean up some more and then head to bed, preparing for a sleepless night ahead.

 

**8:34 PM**

**baby♥**

 

babe

 

minnie

 

i love you

 

i love you too

everything okay?

 

yeah i just wanted to say that

just did some more packing

i have a LOT of crap

but i love you

and you should know

 

i do know and i love you too

go shower ok? I can smell your stink from here

 

...okay will do boss

see you at 3:00 sharp

 

i won’t be late <3

call me when you’re done cleaning up

and i’ll sing you to sleep

 

this is why i love you

 

……………

see you love

 

**9:00 PM**

**tennie**

 

tennie

 

nana

 

how is sicheng????

 

he fell asleep from crying so hard..

he keeps saying it’s his fault.

I think kun’s ready to kill

he keeps rubbing sicheng’s back and muttering swear words

 

oh sicheng…

is he going into work tomorrow?

 

no i don’t think so

but we don’t want to leave him alone

so he might come to work with me

or luwoo will take him to their bakery

or jaeyong will take him to their coffee shop

whichever sicheng wants

 

any news from yuta?

 

no..

Johnny tried calling him but he wouldn’t respond

he wouldn’t even respond to taeil

you know how close they are

 

oh no…

even if im mad at him...i hope he’s okay

 

...same

he’s being a dumbass but i still care about him

 

same..

 

It’ll all work out

It always does

Ily nana don’t stress out

 

Ily2 tennie

see you tomorrow

[read]

 

After showering and getting ready for bed, Jaemin called his boyfriend, as promised.

_ “Hello, Min?” _

“Hi, angel.” 

_ “You’re going to bed early.” _

“No, I just wanted to hear your voice.” There was a pause of silence. “Are you doing okay?”

_ “Of course I am, why?” _

“I was just wondering with all the drama…” 

_ “I’m fine. Frustrated with Yuta, but fine.” _

“Do you have any updates from him? He won’t respond to Johnny or Taeil; no one knows where he is.”

_ “He’s not responding to them? He responded to me earlier when I texted him.” _

“You were texting him?”

_ “Yeah, I was telling him to get his shit together, honestly. He was drinking…” _

“Did you tell any of the other boys?”

_ “No...Should I have?” _

There were some moments in their relationship where Jaemin wanted to bang his head on the wall. This was one of them. “Yes, the others should know. Text the group chat later, okay? They’re going to want to know that Yuta’s alive…” 

_ “I’m sorry that I didn’t right away.”  _

“It’s fine, Rennie. Everyone’s just super stressed right now; You probably didn’t think about texting the group chat, it’s not your fault.”

_ “Okay, whatever you say… I’ll sing you to sleep now, and then I’ll text the group, okay?” _

“Okay, thank you.”

Jaemin luckily was able to fall asleep to Renjun’s voice, even with all the stress bringing him down.

 

The next morning, Jaemin was woken up from his phone buzzing like crazy. 

“ _ What  _ do you want, Jeno? I’m trying to sleep, and-”

_ “He’s not here.” _

“What?”

_ “Sicheng. He’s not here.” _

“What do you mean, he’s not here?”

_ “He’s not fuck- just read the group chat. Now.”  _

And the line went empty, leaving Jaemin in pure confusion. 

 

**5:32 AM**

**love love**

 

**TY:** ummm….

**TY:** i’m probably the only one up but

**TY:** i’m supposed to be making breakfast and

**TY:** sicheng’s not @ johnten’s????

**TY:** what the hell

**TY:** he’s not in the fucking apartment

**TY:** sicheng what the hell

**TY:** where are you

 

**Taeil’s:** ????????

 

**ijustwantsomemilk:** everyone try calling sicheng please

 

**supportsystem:** what the hell is going on

 

**kunnie:** ?????

 

**DY’s:** sicheng’s where?

 

**TY:** i literally don’t know

 

**ijustwantsomemilk:** we can’t find him

 

**tennie:** wtf

**tennie:** sicheng if you’re just on a ‘morning walk’ i will beat your ass

 

**johnnie:** sicheng???????

 

**kunnie:** ok where is he???

 

**ijustwantsomemilk:** i’m checking the cafe

 

**junguwu:** hello 

**junguwu:** i’ll go check the bakery

 

**thebestestfriendever:** ??????

 

omg wtf is going on

 

**thebestestfriendever:** i’ll go wake up chensung and search around town

 

i’ll go wake up rennie and also search

 

**tennie:** fuck where the hell could he be

 

**junguwu:** he’s not at the bakery….

 

**ijustwantsomemilk:** he’s not at the cafe either..

 

**kunnie:** what the hell

 

Jaemin drove as fast as he could to Renjun’s apartment in the darkness of nearly 6 in the morning. He had a spare key, so he didn’t need to bother knocking or anything ‘courteous’. Approaching Renjun’s bedroom, he lightly called out his boyfriend’s name. 

“Angel? Rennie?” Jaemin sat at the edge of Renjun’s bed, gently shaking him awake. “We need you to wake up right now.” 

One thing Jaemin had learned from years of dating Renjun was that Renjun was  _ not  _ a morning person. The boy had struggles waking up and even staying awake. In normal situations, Jaemin found it cute, but when Sicheng was missing, he didn’t as much. 

“What...what do you want, Min?” Renjun flopped over onto his stomach, burying his face into his blankets.

“Sicheng’s missing. We can’t find him.” 

Those words woke Renjun up right away. He shot up into a sitting position, eyes blinking wide open. “ _ What? _ ” 

“Taeyong and Jaehyun stopped over there, but Sicheng wasn’t there. We still haven’t found him.”

Renjun carried on the conversation as he changed into sweatpants and one of Jaemin’s sweatshirts. “Let’s go find him, then. He could be...anywhere.” 

The couple drove around town all morning, looking for Sicheng. Sadly, none of the 15 boys found him. They all met at Taeyong and Jaehyun’s cafe for breakfast after searching for nearly an hour. Kun was secretly crying, and he wouldn’t stop despite Jeno’s measures to calm him. Donghyuck and Ten looked ready to start crying, but Johnny had the two engulfed in a comforting hug. Renjun was laying against Jaemin’s shoulder, tracing circles on Jaemin’s thigh. Taeyong had Chenle and Jisung in his arms, while Jaehyun tended to any customers that came in. Lucas, Jungwoo, Taeil, and Doyoung were crowded into a booth, snuggling. To any passerby that saw them, it would look like the boys had just returned from a war. The group stayed there until they had to go their separate ways for work. But the worry never left. 

 

At exactly 3:00, Jaemin and Renjun met outside of their new apartment complex to sign the papers. Renjun instantly gave Jaemin a big hug when he saw how tired the boy looked; both were having a rough day. After talking to the contractor for some time, the two finished signing, and Renjun suggested that they went out to a movie before dinner. Jaemin wholeheartedly agreed that both of them just needed a relaxing night. 

 

“Minnie,” Renjun grabbed the boy seated across from him’s hand. “I’m really excited to move in with you.”

Jaemin fondly stared at his boyfriend, love overflowing. “I’m excited too. We’re going to-” He was interrupted by his phone going off. Rolling his eyes, he picked it up. 

“Jisung, what the hell do you want? I’m on a  _ date _ .”

_ “Group chat. Now.”  _ And the line went dead. Jaemin confusedly went to the group chat.

 

**6:43 PM**

**love love**

 

**yuta’s:** i’m in china. 

**yuta’s:** i’m safe.

**yuta's:**  i just need a break.

**yuta’s:** i won’t be coming home for a little while.

**yuta’s:** i love you all:)

 

**[ _yuta's_ left the group chat]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imsorryimsorryimsorry please don't kill me
> 
> also?? should i like,, slip hansol in this?? bc he saw nct yesterday and my heart:((


	5. loving banters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> well he needs space
> 
> but not from a different couNTRY
> 
> wtf where are your braincells

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i don't know why the quotes are always there at the beginning.... i literally just thought it looked cool

_you might not have been my first love_

_but you were the love that made_

_all the other loves_

_irrelevant_

_\- rupi kaur_

 

 

 

**8:31 PM**

**Yuta**

 

yuta

nakamoto yuta

yuta

yuta seriously

answer your fucking phone

 

what do you want renjun

haven’t you yelled at me enough???

 

….

sicheng’s gone

 

what??

 

he’s in china.

he flew BY HIMSELF without telling anyone.

we don’t know when he’s gonna come back.

so yeah. thanks.

 

??????????????

ohmygod

:((((

 

now where the hell have you been

 

………

i may or may not

have gone back to japan??

 

wait what

bitch you what

 

i just… felt really bad this morning

i was rude to sicheng and i shouldn’t have

i’m such a bad boyfriend

 

what tHE FUCK does this have to do with you going to japan

 

well i figured that i could get my head in the right place again

think through some stuff

i feel like he needs some space from me

 

well he needs space

but not from a different couNTRY

wtf where are your braincells

 

i’m just visiting family

and an old friend

 

…

an old friend??

does sicheng know of this old friend?

 

...yes

you weren’t in korea then but

his name is hansol

he and i were best friends

he helped me ask out sicheng in the first place

i figured he can help me fix this mess

 

…

why is hansol in japan though??

 

it’s his job

he teaches japanese kids korean

 

hm ok

just..

be careful please?

we all may be pissed at you but we still care about you

don’t do anything stupid

 

i won’t

don’t worry

Is sicheng okay otherwise???

 

yes

he cried a lot

But almost everyone was there with him

 

good

thank you guys

keep me updated on him?

 

sure

 

thank you

 

oh and yuta

 

yes?

 

text sicheng.

let him know you’re okay.

i know the situation seems bad right now, but it’ll get better if you two talk.

 

Thank you, renjun

i will

  


“Babe,” Renjun whispered from under the covers. He was cuddled into Jaemin’s side; they were watching Netflix together on Jaemin’s phone. “Who’s Hansol?”

Jaemin visibly froze. Eyebrows furrowed together tightly, he asked, “Why are you asking?”

“Yuta’s in Japan with him.” Renjun figured honesty was the best policy at that point. There was no use lying to Jaemin, anyways. “He said they were best friends?”

Jaemin set down his phone and propped himself up on his elbow, directly looking at his boyfriend. “They were, but Rennie, Hansol created some drama back then.” He paused, thinking over his words. “I don’t want to say this to make you hate him or anything, because he could have changed since then. Hansol _really_ liked Yuta. He was head over heels for him, absolutely smitten. Yuta was oblivious to it all, no matter how much we’d try telling him. To him, Hansol was just his best friend. But then Sicheng came along, and Yuta started crushing on him. The feelings were mutual, even though Sicheng doesn’t like public affection. Yuta went to Hansol for advice on asking out Sicheng...and Hansol gave him ‘advice’, but he really was trying to sabotage them.” Jaemin rolled his eyes. “Basically, Hansol was jealous, and his dreams were crushed when Yuta and Sicheng _did_ get together, but that’s all I know. Last time I checked Hansol still had a crush on Yuta, but he respected their relationship and just started hanging out with Taeil and Jaehyun more. I have no clue where he is now, when he left for college he practically dropped off the face of the earth.”

“Should we be concerned that Hansol’s with Yuta?”

“Honestly, love, my initial reaction was to be _very_ concerned. But I don’t know Hansol anymore, he could be a completely different person.” Jaemin ran his hands through Renjun’s hair, giving a promising smile. “It’s not like Yuta and Sicheng have broken up, right? So we shouldn’t have to worry about Yuta pursuing something with Hansol.”

“Yuta realized how stupid he was to get mad at Sicheng, and he said he went to Japan to clear his head and get _advice_ from Hansol. You don’t think Hansol would try sabotaging it again, right?”

Jaemin lightly pecked his boyfriend’s cheek, pulling him closer. “I can’t give you an answer to that, but I really pray that he won’t.”

Renjun snuggled closer into Jaemin’s chest, forming a teasing smirk. “Babe, did you ever have crushes on people before I came to Korea?”

“Actually, yes. I had the _hugest_ crush on Mark for a while, but then that quickly faded once I realized Donghyuck liked him.”

“ _Mark?_ You had how many guys to choose from and you chose Mark?”

“Ren, don’t judge me. You have no clue how cool Mark was when he came. He spoke English and was good at everything; it was weird if you _didn’t_ have a crush on him!”

“I don’t even care if you liked him. You’re mine now, anyways.” with that, Renjun planted a sweet kiss to Jaemin’s lips. Jaemin smiled into the kiss, deepening it. The two had made out plenty of times before, but both had deep, mutual dislike towards sexual intercourses, so they never took it further. ( **A/N: in other words… no sexualizing going on in this AU thx** ) The two kissed for a few more minutes, shifting so that Renjun was leaning over Jaemin on their bed.

“I really love your bed, do you know that?” asked Renjun, placing his head on Jaemin’s chest, feeling his heartbeats.

“You tell me that every time you come over.”

“Soon, it’ll be my bed!”

“ _Ours_ , Rennie. Our bed.”

“I want it all for myself… you can take the couch.”

“I am offended, what would Fred and Timmy think if you kicked your favorite cuddle buddy off?”

“Fred and Timmy are technically _mine_ , I bought them when I asked you to the winter formal.” Renjun retorted.

“Fred is mine, you bought him _for_ me!”

“Fred likes me better, and you know it.”

Jaemin playfully gasped. “Fred likes me more! I cuddle him every night.”

“That’s a lie, and you know it. You always end up kicking him off the bed during the night. If I kicked _you_ off the bed while you’re getting your beauty sleep, would you like it?”

“I _love_ Fred, I’d never kick him off. We are in a devoted, happy friendship.”

“Kicking him off the bed every night doesn’t sound very devoted or happy, hm?”

“As if you don’t kick off Timmy!”

Renjun audibly gasped, louder than usual for the dramatic effects. “I cuddle Timmy every night that you’re not there, and even if you’re there I still keep him _on_ the bed! Besides, Timmy and I have great cuddle bonds.”

“Are you trying to say that Timmy gives better cuddles than me?” Jaemin gave Renjun a playful stink eye.

“Oh, he _definitely_ does. He gives the best hugs ever and always kisses my forehead before bed. Then he wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close to him. It’s the best.”

Jaemin teasingly raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend, making a face. “Timmy sounds pretty similar to me...Are you trying to tell me something about my cuddles?”

“Babe,” Renjun pursed his lips, acting like he was delivering bad news. “Your cuddles are _average_. But Timmy’s… his are extraordinary.”

Jaemin pouted. “Average? Is that a challenge?” Mischief glinted in his eyes.

“Maybe it is…”

Jaemin _always_ took challenges seriously, so he embraced Renjun into a tight hug, making it as comfortable as possible for both of them. The couple had their favorite cuddling position: Jaemin on his back with his arms around Renjun, who lied half sideways, half on his stomach, fitting perfectly into Jaemin’s side. Jaemin always stoked Renjun’s hair, while Renjun snugged his nose into Jaemin’s neck. It was, by far, their favorite position. They got to enjoy each other’s presences without even making eye contact.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Renjun spoke up from his position on Jaemin’s chest. “You know, Minnie, I lied. You’re the best cuddler out there.”

“That’s impossible; the best cuddler in the world is in my arms.”

“Hm… I have to disagree. You give out of the world cuddles.”

“Rennie, you can’t beat me on this. You’re the best cuddler in the world, no butts!”

“Na freaking Jaemin, just shut up. Because you are!”

“Renjun, I swear….”

The two continued bantering, friendly arguing about who was the better cuddler. ‘Healthy arguments’, Jaemin would say. They ended up shifting to sitting positions, Renjun wrapped with blankets, and Jaemin holding a pillow. For a second, Jaemin considered starting a pillow fight.

Renjun, soon enough, found a loophole. “But Jaemin, how can I be the best cuddler when I’m only good at cuddling when it’s with you?”

Jaemin found himself stumped. “Well, maybe we should form a truce; we both can be the best cuddlers.”

“Only when we’re with each other.”

Jaemin teasingly smirked. “I don’t know… Jeno and Hyuck are _quite_ the fantastic cuddlers.”

Renjun only rolled his eyes. “Chenle’s a good cuddler, too. And Kun.”

“It’s weird….” started Jaemin. “Everyone’s in relationships. We all have been since forever.”

“Did you expect Jeno and Kun to get together?” asked Renjun.

“To be honest, no… I just saw them as close friends, nothing more. But then their touches started lingering and having a meaning behind them, I guess it just fell perfectly into place. You know, they have been through a lot together. Jeno relies on Kun for support, so even if they broke up, they’d still be inseparable.”

“I think they make a good match. It’s a very mature relationship. They know how to value and trust each other.”

“Do we have a mature relationship, Rennie?”

Renjun made a face. “We just spent twenty minutes arguing about who was the better cuddler, do you think we’re mature?” Seeing Jaemin’s face slightly fall, he quickly took Jaemin’s hand. “I think we value and trust each other, too. I think we’re responsible and mature when we need to be. I think it’s healthy. I trust you with my life, and I know that you’re in my future, no matter how good or bad it’ll be. I wouldn’t want to grow old with anyone else.”

Jaemin nearly cooed. “You want to grow old with me?”

“Of course I do, stupid.”

“I want to grow old with you, too. I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Jaemin pulled Renjun into another deep kiss, expressing how he felt through it. The post ‘I love you’ kisses were Jaemin’s favorites; all of their emotions vibrated with every connection. Jaemin could proudly say that he _truly_ did want to grow old with the boy in front of him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo just as an fyi... hansol isn't a bad person at all!! we love and appreciate him. i'm trying to properly show him, so i'm working on finding more info ab his new group:) [support newkidds ppl]
> 
> also!!!! this is kinda more important!!  
> soooo i'm going into brain surgery this monday!! (idk how to nicely put that, tbh) i may not be able to update for a while, or it'll be totally flip and i'll have a lot of extra time in the hospital to write. we'll find out! (oh yeah and if anyone wants me to explain what's going on i'm totally open to sharing!) 
> 
> thanks for supporting this au<3


	6. misses & wishes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I know you love him, and that’s all that matters.”
> 
> “I really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok but imagine mrs na rolling her eyes and making faces like jaemin did to renjun when he was talking about mark

_no_

_it won't_

_be love at_

_first sight when_

_we meet it'll be love_

_at first remembrance cause_

_i've seen you in my mother's eyes_

_when she tells me to marry the type_

_of man i'd want to raise my son to be like_

_\- rupi kaur_

 

 

 

Thursday morning, Jaemin’s mom came over with a way-too-excited attitude. She arrived at Jaemin’s apartment bright and early at seven in the morning, but the couple was still fast asleep. Mrs. Na opened the door to the bedroom for half a second, but after seeing Jaemin and Renjun’s entangled bodies, she decided to just start packing by herself. After all, she’d probably get more done without the boys.

Jaemin had always been a quick riser, so when he sleepily stepped out of his bedroom in confusion, Mrs. Na wasn’t surprised one bit.

“Good morning,” she quietly greeted, sliding over a cup of coffee to her son.

“I didn’t remember you were coming over today… I’m sorry.”

“Oh, hun, it’s fine. You have a lot of other things going on, too. It’s no big deal.”

“Renjun’s here,” Jaemin stated, unknowing that his mom already witnessed the other boy.

“I figured. Let him sleep.” Mrs. Na paused, letting his son wake up. “How are you two?”

 _Why does everyone keep asking me that?_ “We’re good. Excited to move in together. How are you and dad?”

“We’re normal; you and Renjun need to visit sometime! Your dad misses talking about space with Renjun… he keeps complaining about how you need to visit.”

“I swear, dad likes Renjun better than me.”

“That he does,” teased Mrs. Na. “Seriously, visit us! I get lonely with just your father sometimes…”

“Oh, mother…” Jaemin laughed, appreciating his mom. “I’ll make sure to have you two over or visit you once we’re all moved in.”

“If you ever need help decorating, please let me know! You _know_ how much I love interior design.” gushed the mother. “You should do a blue, white, and gray theme! It’d look so nice.”

“You know I’ll come and ask you if we ever need _anything_. Renjun loves you like he loves his own mom.”

“Call his mom also; she wants to know how our favorite couple is doing too!”

Jaemin flushed. His parents and Renjun’s mom always loved hearing about their relationship. The mothers quickly had become close and even named themselves the ‘leaders of the Renmin fanclub’.

“So,” Mrs. Na perched her face on her hands, with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “When are you popping the big question?”

Jaemin’s face turned tomato red, and he froze in place. “What- mom, the what?”

“You know, _sealing the deal_. When will that happen?”

“We aren’t even living together yet!” spluttered the embarrassed son.

Mrs. Na only rolled her eyes, making a face. “So? Your father and I got married young; it’s not wrong to do.” She paused for a second, studying her son’s owl-eyed expression. “You _are_ planning on proposing one day, right?”

“Of course I am!” Jaemin was baffled. He had never thought about _not_ marrying Renjun, but on the flip side, he had never really thought about when to marry his boyfriend. “We can’t get married anytime soon; Johnny and Ten are getting married, and Lucas and Jungwoo are going to, too.”

“I didn’t say anything about a marriage, I only said proposal.” protested Mrs. Na. “You’re gonna have to do it eventually, what are you waiting for?”

“Mom-”

“You and Renjun will be _great_ parents if you decide to have kids, if that’s what you’re worried about.. Renjun is perfect parent material; he has a stay at home job. Plus, your hours are flexible, so you can always be home and help! You know what, sweetie? You can quit your job, and your dad and I will just fund everything. We want you and Renjun-”

“ _Mom_ .” Jaemin cut his ranting mother off. “I want to get settled in our new apartment before thinking about proposing. I’m _gonna_ propose someday, don’t worry.”

“Good, you better.” Mrs. Na narrowed her eyes dangerously. “I’ll always know where you live, keep that in mind.”

Jaemin let out a short, complaining whine, but he couldn’t keep his smile off his face. “Mom, stop…”

“I know you love him, and that’s all that matters.”

“I really do.”

“I could tell from the first time you had him over that you two are meant to be.”

Mrs. Na was about to continue, but Jaemin’s bedroom door was opened, revealing a tired Renjun wrapped in a blanket. He walked behind Jaemin and wrapped his arms around the boy’s stomach, nuzzling his face into the crook of Jaemin’s neck.

“Good morning~” Renjun lightly waved to Mrs. Na, who was watching with a proud smile.

Jaemin motioned to his apartment that needed packing. “Shall we get started?”

 

 **2:21 PM** **  
** **love love**

 

 **tennie:** gays

 

 **johnnie:** don’t do it

 

 **TY:** what?

 

 **lelele:**???

 

 **johnnie:** don’t do it, ten

 

 **tennie:** do you wanna see

 

 **pwarkie:** whatever it is yes

 

 **johnnie:** ten,,,

 

 **tennie:** im doing it

 

 **johnnie:** dontttttttt

 

 **tennie:** ok so johnny and i are shopping for tuxes

 

 **johnnie:** ten i sweAR

 

**tennie:**

**tennie:** LOOOK

 **tennie:** HOW

**tennie:**

**tennie:** FUCKING GORGEOUS

**tennie:**

**tennie:** MY FUTURE HUSBAND IS.

 

 **johnnie:** ……..

 

 **TY:** aw you look great!!

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** is that the wedding one?

 

 **tennie:** yup!!

 

 **junguwu:** what color is your’s?

 

 **tennie:** white!!!

 **tennie:** i think

 **tennie:** we haven’t decided yet

 

 **johnnie:** im gonna go with the gray one now

 

 **tennie:** but babbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeee

 

I vote black

 

 **tennie:** we’re also getting haircuts before it:)))

 

 **junguwu:** do black

 

 **tennie:** my boyfriend is THE cutest

 

 **johnnie:** no my boyfriend is

**johnnie:**

**johnnie:** my future husband’s cuter than yours

 

 **tennie:** uh NO

 

 **junguwu:** … are u really having this argument right now

 

 **baby♥:** you should do waves in johnny’s hair for the wedding

 **baby♥:** it’d look good

 

i second that

 

 **tennie:** i third that!!!!

 **tennie:** babe it’s decided

 

 **johnnie:** …..

 **johnnie:** i cant wait until the honeymoon.

 **johnnie:** i’ll finally be away from all u weirdos

 

 **tennie:** i’ll be there;););)

 

 **johnnie:** oh crap

 

 **tennie:** listen up here HOE

 

 **baby♥:** they’re at it again

 

 **johnnie:** u wanna go??!!?

 

 **tennie:** FINE. meet me at the corner in 10.

 

 **johnnie:** fine.

 

uh yeah

have fun with your ‘fight’

  
**junguwu:** ‘fight’ lmao

 **junguwu:** u know they’re already making out

 

Halfway through their packing adventure at Jaemin’s apartment, Renjun left for his own. His mom and Jungwoo were scheduled to help him pack and clean for the big move. The couple had agreed to move in that weekend, with the help of their parents and friends. To Renjun, it was more exciting than moving countries.

“Woo!” he pulled Jungwoo into a bone-crushing hug. “I missed you~”

“I missed you, too.”

The two walked into Renjun’s apartment, only to find Mrs. Huang already there, cleaning. “Mom! I haven’t seen you in forever!”

The three cleaned for a few hours, and Jungwoo left around supper time to eat with Lucas, while Mrs. Huang stayed with Renjun.

“How have you been, honey?” she asked, seated on the couch next to her son.

“We’ve been good. Jaemin’s really excited to move, so am I. I had to make him promise to cut down his caffeine intake, though. That kid can drown coffee as if it’s nothing.”

“No,” Mrs. Huang made a face. “How are _you_? Not you and Jaemin. Just you. I know moving in together is a huge step. Are you completely ready for it?”

“Of course I am. I love him to death. He’s my other half.”

“I’m glad you have confidence. That’s a good thing to have.”

“Thanks, mom.” Renjun never liked talking about personal problems with his mom. It was a barrier that he never approached. “I really appreciate you helping me.”

“Is everything else going okay?”

Renjun knew that question was a lot deeper than it seemed. It was his mom’s way of words. “Well, honestly… One couple in our friend group, Sicheng and Yuta, the Chinese and Japanese, they’re in a big fight. Sicheng flew back to China, and Yuta flew back to Japan. I feel… I feel like something bad will happen. Or specifically, something worse.”

“What do you mean?”

 _I think Sicheng might not come back. I think Yuta might cheat on Sicheng with Hansol._ “I’m not really sure. I think the whole moving thing has just been stressing me out.”

“Oh, sweetie…” Mrs. Huang pulled Renjun into a hug, rubbing all of the tension out of his back.

 

A few days later, on Sunday night, the group was at Renjun and Jaemin’s new apartment, celebrating. Sicheng and Yuta weren’t there, which led to a short, awkward conversation about the whole situation, but everyone overlooked it when Ten revealed the drinks. Mark came, which surprised Jaemin, as he hadn’t seen the boy in _weeks_. Donghyuck looked a tiny bit happier, Jaemin noticed.

There everyone was sprawled, across the living room with drinks in their hands, talking about life with huge grins on their faces.

“I missed this,” muttered Taeyong, smothered into Jaehyun’s chest. “I missed all of you.”

“We missed you too,” replied Lucas cheerfully.

Kun smiled meekly from his place by Jeno. “We all need to get together more often. As a group.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy with work, guys,” apologized Mark. “It’s been pretty hectic lately; there’s so much things to be working on.”

Jaemin didn’t miss his best friend’s reaction to Mark, but he decided not to say anything. _Everything can pretend to be fine, at least for one night._

“Don’t apologize,” replied Jaehyun. “You’re just doing your job, right?”

“I wish Sicheng was here with us…” whispered Chenle from Jisung’s lap.

“And Yuta,” added Renjun.

Jaemin studied his boyfriend’s face for a few moments. The moon shined perfectly through the window on Renjun’s face, making a glowy effect. Jaemin secretly reached for Renjun’s hand, not breaking his stare at the boy’s face. Renjun turned, looking right into Jaemin’s eyes. Just like that, all of their friends’ talking faded into the background. Renjun gave one concerned squeeze, asking if Jaemin was okay.

Jaemin could only smile at Renjun, mouthing that he loved him.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mrs na is a whole mood
> 
> thank you for all the nice wishes about my surgery,, it went well & i am currently in recovery! (if anyone wants pics of the incision hmu on twt lmao)  
> i have a looooooot of homework to do though, so rip me :")


	7. infinite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No,” Ten breathed out. “Did you cheat on Sicheng?”

_talk to me_

_your voice_

_sounds like_

_coming home_

_from a war_

_that took_

_too many_

_parts of me_

 

_whisper_

_my name_

_i want to_

_fill a_

_mouth_

_full of_

_belonging_

 

_\- rupi kaur_

  
  


 

Apparently, the universe had funny ways of dropping bombs. That same Sunday night, just when everyone thought everything was going okay, everything dropped in a matter of a millisecond to… _not_ okay.

It all started out with a knock on the door. Kun had cautiously gotten up to answer the door. For who would be knocking at 11 pm? When Kun saw _who_ was behind the door, he got more than upset.

“ _Yuta?_ What the _fuck_ are you doing here?” It was rare for Kun to swear in general, so his words made everyone snap towards the door. “Sicheng isn’t here, if you’re looking for him,” spat Kun, looking dangerously scarier by the second. “Why are you here?”

Yuta put his hands up as if he was being arrested, looking extremely frightened by the neurologist in front of him. “I know.” He softly whispered. Renjun could tell from his eyes that he wasn’t there for anything bad.

“Let him in, Kunnie,” he spoke up.

Yuta carefully approached the living room, still looking tense. “This is a nice apartment; I’m happy for you two.”

“ _What do you want?_ ” Ten hissed, a dangerous glint in his eyes.

Yuta wouldn’t sit down. He folded his hands, the emotions still visible in his eyes. “I wanted to talk to you all before Sicheng got back.” He paused, as if waiting for yelling. Getting no response but an eyebrow raise from Kun, he continued. “I’d firstly like to apologize for my behavior. I shouldn’t have handled the situation in that way; I should’ve heard Sicheng out. Hansol told me I should apologize to you-”

“ _Hansol?_ ” Kun venomly spat out. “Why the _hell_ were you with _him_?”

“Listen-”

“No, you _listen_.” Kun glared. “You know what Hansol did. You know how he made Sicheng feel.”

“You know how much he tried tearing you and Sicheng apart,” added Taeyong softly.

Jaehyun eyed Yuta carefully. “Do you even know that he liked you?”

Yuta stayed drastically silent, hanging his head in what seemed like shame.

“ _No,_ ” Ten breathed out. “Did you _cheat_ on Sicheng?” He stood up, pulling up his sleeves as if he was ready to fight. “I will break you.”

“Babe,” Johnny grasped Ten, refusing to let go. “We need to hear Yuta out. We don’t know if he cheated yet.”

“Did you?” Chenle softly asked to Yuta, tears filling in his eyes.

Renjun didn’t know how his friends’ world could go crashing down within a five minute conversation. He tried to picture it in his mind: this mysterious man named Hansol, that he had never met, cheating with Yuta? Renjun couldn’t bring himself to believe it.

“I didn’t cheat on Sicheng,” Yuta spoke, voice firm and steady.

Kun stood up next. “Then why would you go to Japan to visit him?”

Voices started overlapping over each other; people trying to get their opinions and thoughts across. It was days like this that Renjun wished he didn’t have a eighteen membered friend group.

“I _didn’t cheat_ !” Yuta yelled, silencing everyone else to a hush. “ _God_ , who do you think I am? I _love_ Sicheng; I would never cheat on him!” He pulled at his hair, the frustration flying through the roof. “I went to Hansol because I wanted to know what to do, since you all were too pissed at me to even _talk_ to me.”

“You could’ve done that through a phone call,” hissed Kun.

Donghyuck rolled his eyes. “That’s a lame reason.”

Yuta sighed in defeat, clenching his fists. “I also went to Japan because Hansol’s proposing to Hwi, and he wanted to know what ring to get and how to ask.”

“Hwi?” Renjun spoke for the first time that night.

“Hwi is his _boyfriend_ ,” said Yuta. “They’ve been dating ever since college.”

Silence plastered the air, with everyone’s eyes wide in shock.

Jaemin was the first one to blink back into a normal state. He stood up and wrapped his arms around Yuta. “I’m sorry for getting upset with you. We should’ve listened to you, too. We shouldn’t have jump to that conclusion.”

One by one, the rest of the group got up and joined the hug, all whispering their apologies.

The one elephant hung in the room, however. _When was Sicheng coming back?_

 

**11:33 PM**

**sichengie!!**

 

Hey hyung?

 

nana! what’s up

 

when are you coming back?

i miss you:(

so does renjun

 

i’m not sure yet…

 

why:((

 

i have some things i need to tackle up here.

i’ll try to come home soon, nana

i miss you all too

 

Sicheng…

 

how is he?

 

he came back

looking for you

there was a misunderstanding between him and us

 

i know

kun called me as soon as he found out that yuta was with hansol

 

You’re not mad?

 

why would i be mad

that wouldn’t fix anything

i trust yuta

i trust he didn’t do anything with hansol

 

you know that he didn’t, right?

hansol’s proposing to some Hwi guy

 

kun texted me that

i know yuta would never do something like that…

it’s not like we bRoKe up..

 

you didn’t...right?

 

no...

i don’t believe so

 

come back soon, okay?

we all miss you

yuta’s ready to talk to you

 

i know…

i just need to sort out some private stuff first

 

??

 

i can’t say.

i’m really sorry.

 

don’t apologize

you have nothing to apologize for

 

thank you nana…

i have to go

i’ll be back soon

 

i love you

renjun’s sleeping but he loves you aswell

 

I love you both

bye

 

Jaemin muted his phone, placing it onto the nightstand. He rolled over to face his sleeping boyfriend, caressing Renjun’s face carefully. Even though it was dark in the room, he could still make out the dip of Renjun’s nose. Jaemin could only stare at the beauty of Renjun. He slowly drifted into sleep, one hand on Renjun’s neck, and the other entwined with Renjun’s.

 

*

 

The next morning, Jaemin woke up before Renjun. It wasn’t too much of a surprise; Jaemin usually got up first. But he had to stand for a few seconds, just admiring Renjun. It was different. Renjun was sleeping in _their_ bed, in _their_ apartment. Their _home_.

Jaemin glanced at the glow in the dark stars on their ceiling. He remembered how Renjun had begged and begged to put them up, and the adorable smile that formed when Jaemin told him yes. Renjun loved astronomy; throughout college, he spent days and days staring up at the stars, telling Jaemin all about them. He remembered Renjun in his arms, pointing out the constellation Cygnus. Renjun had always loved symbols and meanings.

As Jaemin walked to the kitchen, he stopped and looked at the painting in the hallway. It was a huge picture of him and Renjun, painted by Renjun himself. He remembered how Renjun had spent _weeks_ on it, and how he wouldn’t let Jaemin come over until it was complete. It was a simplistic, yet meaningful painting. It showed Renjun’s back, facing Jaemin, who was leaned up against the locker. It was the day they first met.

While fond memories filled his thoughts, Jaemin prepared breakfast for him and Renjun. Exactly fifteen minutes later, his boyfriend hazily woke up, smelling the food.

“You made breakfast? Why?” Renjun asked as Jaemin engulfed him in a hug.

Jaemin only planted a kiss to Renjun’s forehead. “I just appreciate you.”

Renjun shot him a look but didn’t pry any further. Jaemin continued. “I was thinking we could go on a date tonight.”

“A date? Where?”

“It’s a surprise~”

Renjun pouted. “But I want to know now!”

Jaemin just grinned. “You’ll have to wait for tonight.”

“What should I wear?”

“Warm clothes. I heard it can get cold.”

Renjun was left to himself for the rest of the day, trying to figure out what Jaemin was planning for their date.

 

*

 

At exactly 8 pm, Jaemin was leading Renjun to the car for their date. When he had been working, Renjun had been constantly distracted. He couldn’t think of where Jaemin was taking him. They had been everywhere: the movies, the nature trail, the ice cream parlor, all the cafes, and many more. It seemed impossible for Jaemin to be taking him somewhere new.

“Put this on,” demanded Jaemin lightly, holding a blindfold in his hand.

“Why?”

“It’s a surprise. Just put it on, Rennie.”

Renjun knew it was a lost cause to try to refuse. He allowed Jaemin to tie the fabric around his eyes, making the world a lot darker than it already was.

 

“Am I going to be eaten alive?”

“Ren, you always ask that. It’s just a surprise; don’t worry. You’ll love it.”

“But will I? I could be cuddling and watching Netflix with you and Fred.”

A laugh. “You’ll love it, for real. You’re never going to want to leave.”

A gasp. “Minnie, are we going to a mattress store to pick out a new bed?”

“No, we’re not, stupid.”

 

When Jaemin pulled off the blindfold, Renjun was starstruck. His eyes widened, his jaw dropped, and he tackled Jaemin in a bone crushing hug.

“A _planetarium_? I love it!”

“It’s opening night; I’m surprised you hadn’t heard about it yet.”

The two sat down, waiting for the space show to start.

“How’d you even find out about this?” asked Renjun.

“My boss actually told me about it. He’s planning on taking his kids here.”

“His kids?”

“You know the cute twins I always talk about? It’s those two. They’re my favorite kids to teach.”

 

Renjun had always thought Jaemin was amazing, but that day he realized that Jaemin was a _lot_ more amazing than before. He knew that space shows could be expensive, and that usually the opening night for the new in town planetarium was usually hard to get tickets for. But Jaemin still did it, even though he even had work that next morning. Renjun felt _truly_ in love with him. In that moment of staring at the stars, Renjun decided he was going to marry the man on his right.

  
Jaemin had always thought Renjun was pretty, but that day he realized how _absolutely stunning_ the boy was. The way his lips slightly parted and his pupils dilated were gorgeous to Jaemin. Even though Renjun was only wearing one of Jaemin’s sweatshirts and jeans, Jaemin still believed that Renjun was the most beautiful human on the entire planet. No, _galaxy_. He always admired how passionate Renjun was about the stars and art. Seeing the huge smile on Renjun’s face was worth more than anything money could buy. That night, while watching Renjun admire the show, Jaemin admired Renjun. In that moment of staring up at the ceiling of stars, Jaemin thought that Renjun and him were written in the stars.

 

That night, all of the anxiety and problems were washed away.

 

Renjun leaned over, just when the space show was about to end. He only whispered one thing to Jaemin. “I feel _infinite_.”

 

And that night, Jaemin did feel infinite. All because of Renjun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is quite the rollercoaster of emotions wklfjk
> 
> the infinite quote is actually from "The Perks of Being a Wallflower" - a book I really like! (i'm also doing a book report on it right now but i highly recommend it)
> 
> very sorry for not updating on a regular schedule- school's a bitch! (also hoco is this weekend and i'm highkey really excited) 
> 
> let me know what you think of this so far♥


	8. breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’d hurt less if I started forgetting about him now, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ! t/w for a panic attack !
> 
> d r a m a *sips tea*
> 
> read the end notes for a fun story ab thursday

_most importantly love_

_like it's the only thing you know how_

_at the end of the day all this_

_means nothing_

_this page_

_where you're sitting_

_your degree_

_your job_

_the money_

_nothing even matters_

_except love and human connection_

_who you loved_

_and how deeply you loved them_

_how you touched the people around you_

_and how much you gave them_

_\- rupi kaur_

 

 

 

After that Monday night at the planetarium, Renjun’s week went by slowly. He had normal work days, as did Jaemin, and it was overall plain _boring._ The one thing Renjun especially missed, however, was his little ‘dates’ with Sicheng. The older wasn’t replying to anyone’s texts or calls; it was like he dropped off the face of the earth. Renjun hoped, deep down, that Sicheng was still alive.

Getting used to living with Jaemin was easy for Renjun. They had practically been living together all along. Daily morning kisses and sharing a bathroom was the only new part of it. As much as Renjun loved his bath bombs, taking bubble baths with Jaemin was more exciting. Jaemin would put up candles and turn on music and just _hold him_.

Renjun was getting used to living with Jaemin, and as much as he hated to admit it, he was getting used to life without Sicheng. As painful as it was for him to admit it (he still couldn’t bring himself to verbally say it), he was nearly positive that Sicheng wasn’t planning on coming back ever. _It’d hurt less if I started forgetting about him now, right?_

 

**12:02 PM**

**love love**

 

 **[** **_tenten_ ** **added** **_yuta_ ** **to the group]**

 

 **tenten:** hey hoes<33

 

 **dolphin:** hi!!

 

 **sungie:** hey

 

 **kun:** what do u want im on lunch break

 

 **tenten:** is this how u treat ur fav son???????

 

 **kun:** bitch ur not my son renjun is

 

Awe love u

 

 **tenten:**???? since when??

 

 **kun:** literally the first time we met him

 **kun:** at the summer house

 **kun:** when sicheng and i argued over who got to keep him

 

 **xuxi:** i remember that!!

 **xuxi:** renjun was such a smol bean

 

 **taeil:** he still is

 

:(((

 

 **minnie:** babe i love you but… they’re right

 

 **TY track:** he went there

 

 **hyuckie:** gasp

 

 **jenojam:** oof

 

we’re breaking up bye

 

 **minnie:** butttt babbeeeeeeeee

 

Don’t babe me

 

 **jaehyunnie:** he went there

 

 **woo:** renjun you may be tiny but you’re lovable!!

 **woo:** besides when you’re playing video games

 **woo:** then you’re just a bitch

 **woo:** but a tiny lovable bitch!!

 

I have everyone

 

 **tenten:** you LOVE us

 

 **johnny:** im so offended wtf did i do to you

 

nothing johnny ily the most!!

 

 **johnny:** good<33

 

cuddle sess later??

 

 **johnny:** yes;);)

 

 **tenten:** EW

 

 **minnie:** :((((((( i can’t believe this disrespect

 

 **sungie:** so hyung what do u even want

 

 **tenten:** RIGHT

 **tenten:** before i was RUDELY interrupted

 **tenten:** tomorrow you’re all coming over to my apart.

 

 **dolphin:** why

 

 **tenten:** to hang out bitch

 

 **dolphin:** ok!!

 

 **tenten:** lele you’re my kid right??

 

 **dolphin:** yes of course

 

 **tenten:** <333333 uwu

 

 **dolphin:** uwu <3

 

 **jenojam:** what day is tomorrow??

 

 **taeil:** friday???

 

 **jenojam:** ok kun doesn’t work late we’ll be there:)

 

Nana and i can come!

 

 **sungie:** we’ll be there

 

 **xuxi:** so will we

 

 **jaehyunnie:** we’ll be there

 

 **yuta:** i’ll be there

 

 **taeil:** DY and i will be there

 

 **TY track:** markhyuck???

 

 **hyuckie:** i’ll be there!!

 **hyuckie:** idk ab mark yet..

 **hyuckie:** i’ll let you know asap

 **hyuckie:** he might have work

 

 **dolphin:** okay

 

 **minnie:** uh

 

 **xuxi:** the squad is backkkk

 

min.

 

 **jeno:** yay

 

**12:27 PM**

**minnie**

 

so we’re just gonna ignore it??????

 

you know that’s not what i meant

 

hyuck is my best friend, rennie.

 

you can’t do anything ab it

 

yes i can???

are you saying what i think youre saying??

 

...no min

you just can’t get involved

 

and why not?????

 

it’s not your battle to fight

hyuck and mark need to work it out on their own

 

as his best friend though i should be doing something.

i can’t just let him sit around being hurt

 

you’re here for him that’s enough as it is

they’ve been dating for so long

you have to trust that they’ll talk it out like the adults they are

 

I suppose you’re right…

 

I’m always right

 

…

I love you

See you soon<33

 

I love you too.

Don’t do anything stupid<33

[read]

 

**12:45 PM**

**love love**

 

 **dolphin:** guys sungie and i just realized

 

 **doyoungie:**???

 

 **tenten:** what

 

 **yuta:**??

 

??

 

**dolphin:**

**dolphin:** mochi has been adapting really well to our condo!!

 

 **minnie:** OMG

 **minnie:** BITCH IM VISITNG

 

 **yuta:** awe so cute

 

 **tenten:** CUTE

 

 **sungie:** both ten and nana just dropped their phones to start yelling

 **sungie:** the teen group we’re supposed to be teaching looked scared

 

AWWWW

 

 **jenojam:** awrogjk so cute

 

 **hyuckie:** IM MOCHIS GODFATHER I CALL IT

 

 **woo:** biTCH CATCH THESE HANDS FIRST

 

 **tenten:** UH WHAT IM THE GODFATHER

 

 **minnie:** EXCUSE YOU ALL IM THE REAL GODFATHER

 

 **jaehyunnie:** im the real godfather material here!!!

 

 **yuta:** uHHH NO I GET GODFATHER

 

 **tenten:** FIGHT ME HOES

 **tenten:** M

 **tenten:** I

 **tenten:** N

 **tenten:** E

 

 **woo:** i believe that spells MINE

 **woo:** now take a seat and let me greet my new stepson

 

 **minnie:** NOT TODAY GIRLS MOCHI IS MINE

 

 **hyuckie:** bitches you wanna take this outside??????

 

 **yuta:** YES BC HES MINE

 

 **minnie:** I’LL CRUSH YOU HYUCK JUST WAIT

 

 **tenten:** YALL ARE AB TO GET KILLED

 

 **woo:** OVER YOUR DEAD BODY

 **woo:** MOCHI IS MINE

 

 **minnie:** UH BITCH

 

I don’t claim them

 

 **xuxi:** i don’t claim them either

 

 **taeil:** them? Idk her who’s she

 

 **sungie:** ….

 

 **dolphin:** guys….

 **dolphin:** we already told sicheng he could be the godfather

 

 **woo:** :(((((((

 

 **minnie:** sad hours: open

 

 **hyuckie:** noooooo

 

 **yuta:** YES BITCH THAT’S MY BOY SO IM THE OTHER GODFATHER

 

 **tenten:** …..

 **tenten:** what if we d i s p o s e of sicheng’s body??

 **tenten:** then would i get godfather spot??

 

 **dolphin:** um no def not

 

 **12:59 PM** **  
** **hyuckie**

 

hyuck:(((

 

renjun:(((

 

i miss sicheng even more:(((

 

so do i:(((

 

when will he come back:(((

 

hopefully soon:(((

 

but in all honesty

i’ve been trying to forget about him

Bc…

what if he doesn’t come back

i can’t help thinking he won’t

i miss him so much

 

renjun don’t say that.

don’t forget about him

You know you don’t want that

and sicheng doesn’t want that either

It’s okay to miss him

he said he’d come back

so let’s believe him and trust he’ll come back

i miss him too

 

Like

Do you remember this

the first time i met him:((

at chenle’s summer house

and then this from when he visited the week of graduation

i can’t help missing him

even though it’s been just a week

i miss him too much

 

oh renjun:(

you’re allowed to miss him

he misses you too

don’t lose hope so soon

he’ll come back

you’ll see him again

 

hyuckie

I appreciate you so much

i know you’re my boyfriend’s best friend

but i consider you one one my closest friends too

i appreciate you so much

thank you so much for being here

 

I’ll always be here jun

always

 

i’m here for you too, hyuck

no matter what’s going on

 

i love you

 

I love you too

[read]

 

*

 

On Friday night, Renjun and Jaemin headed hand-in-hand to Ten and Johnny’s apartment. They hadn’t been there since the night of Yuta’s big appearance, but they were equally excited to see everyone after a long, boring week.

Renjun missed Sicheng. It was almost indescribable how much he missed the older boy. He missed their long talks about life. He missed their arcade adventures, where they spent the whole time at Just Dance. He missed attempting random restaurant recipes from online and nearly burning down Sicheng’s kitchen in the process. It was difficult for Renjun to even project how much Sicheng meant to him in words. Sicheng was his older brother that he never had. Sicheng always cared for and protected him. Sicheng always stood on his side, even when Renjun was the one totally overreacting. Renjun just missed Sicheng.

“Babe? Are you okay? You spaced out there for a second,” said Jaemin, snapping fingers in front of Renjun’s eyes.

Renjun could feel the tears pooling up, ready to spill at any second. He choked out a quick ‘I’m fine’ and sped to the bathroom, not paying Jaemin or the other boys a second glance. He could hear someone’s voice behind him, but at the same time he couldn’t. Thoughts were overwhelmingly clouding his brain. _What if Sicheng isn’t coming back?_ Renjun gripped the edge of the countertop, trying to even out his breaths. _What if Sicheng hates us? What if-_

A knock on the bathroom door broke Renjun out of his thoughts. “Rennie, can I come in?”

The door was opened carefully, and Jaemin slipped in. His arms were around Renjun before Renjun could even process it. Everything felt like it was spinning. Jaemin was wiping the tears that Renjun didn’t even know were there.

“Hey, I’m gonna need you to take some deep breaths for me,” Jaemin’s low voice whispered into Renjun’s ear. “I’m right here.” Renjun rested his head on Jaemin’s chest and tried to follow the inhales and exhales.

After taking a few minutes to calm down and stop crying, Renjun still refused to let go of Jaemin.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered quietly. The voice got a little louder. “I’m so sorry, Minnie. I’m sorry, I’m-”

“Sh…” Jaemin put a finger on Renjun’s lips and pressed a kiss to his forehead. “Don’t apologize. It’s going to be okay. I’m here.”

Jaemin sat down on the toilet seat, pulling Renjun onto his lap so he could properly face the smaller. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“I just…” Renjun’s voice became so quiet Jaemin could barely hear it. “I miss Sicheng.”

“Ren-”

“I know it’s stupid, and I know it should be Yuta worrying instead of me. I just can’t help missing him.”

“Renjun, baby.” Jaemin caressed the boy on his lap’s cheek. “I wasn’t going to say it’s stupid, because it’s not. You’re allowed to miss Sicheng. I miss him too, as does everyone else. Sicheng’s _going_ to come back. He just needs some alone time right now.”

“But when he used to need alone time, he’d come to me,” said Renjun. “He would rant to me about his feelings, and then we’d watch TV while eating pizza. Why does he have to be alone in a whole different country?”

“I don’t know. I guess it’s just his home country. He’ll come back. I promise you.”

“Jaemin…” Renjun placed his lips on his boyfriend’s, transferring all his emotions into the kiss. He pulled away after a few minutes of kissing. Lips still practically on Jaemin’s and forehead on Jaemin’s, he whispered, “I love you so much. I appreciate you so much.”

Jaemin smiled, placing a chaste kiss on the pair of lips just centimeters from his own. “I appreciate you, too. And I love you so much, too.”

 

The two left the bathroom after a few moments of silence. Renjun had tried his best to make it look like he _wasn’t_ just crying, but he failed.

“What happened to you?” asked Ten when they sat down, Jaemin’s arms protectively going around Renjun.

“Nothing,” replied Jaemin, flashing a look to everyone.

 

The night was filled with laughter and happiness.

 

At least, until Sicheng walked in.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo  
> STREAM REGULAR AND THE ALBUM  
> What was your favorite song off the album? Mine is definitely No Longer.
> 
> also! i'm kinda in process of starting a new renmin au! or at least i got an idea... (ok in all honesty i've only written like,, one page and it's probably poop so it might be three years until i actually start posting it) i can't really decide whether renmin fits it best or a different pairing.. but i'm really comfortable with writing renmin the most. but there is different side pairings which is new for me!
> 
> how has your week been? comment a fun thing that happened:)  
> one thing that happened to me (if you follow my twitter you'll know this) is a liGHt panel (like that covers the light on the ceiling? yeah that one) homegirl FELL on my head in the middle of study hall. like i legit just got my incision re-stitched two weeks ago and now this happened. (it's all the statue's fault. i swear. our school is cursed. or maybe just i am.) so yeah everyone's telling me to sue the school (as a joke) but i'm in general fine- i just have some marks on my forehead and cuts on my hand. 
> 
> i hope everyone has a good saturday!  
> -bbysnny


	9. kiss & make up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> previously on Love Me....
> 
> The night was filled with laughter and happiness.   
> At least, until Sicheng walked in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a short but sweet chapter!

_ i do not want to have you _

_ to fill the empty part of me _

_ i want to be full on my own _

 

_ i want to be so complete _

_ i could light a whole city _

_ and then _

_ i want to have you _

_ cause the two of  _

_ us combined _

_ could set it  _

_ on fire _

_ \- rupi kaur _

 

 

 

Sicheng had managed to sneak through the door, unnoticed. When everyone’s eyes laid on him, there was a moment of shock. 

To Renjun, Sicheng looked so  _ tired _ . Like someone that had spent months running at a full pace and now finally got to rest. Like someone that had hurting their whole life and was finally out of misery. 

Sicheng was dressed in grey baggy joggers with a blue sweatshirt. He was wearing his old sneakers that Renjun hadn’t seen since they were in college. His light brown hair was messy, almost like it hadn’t been brushed in days. He didn’t smile or throw his arms up for a big welcoming hug; he just stood there. He stood as if he wasn’t  _ expecting  _ any happy reactions. Renjun had learned from the moment he met Sicheng that Sicheng’s eyes always told the whole story. But in that particular situation, when Renjun looked into Sicheng’s eyes, nothing was there. It was blank. 

Chenle was the first to react. He cautiously stood up, still in disbelief that Sicheng was  _ actually  _ there, and he attacked Sicheng with a hug. Renjun noticed, however, that Sicheng’s arms didn’t move to hug him back. They just stayed at his side. The air was so awkward and tense.

Renjun looked to where Yuta was seated, by Johnny and Donghyuck. His eyes were so wide that it seemed that they could fall out. His jaw was dropped, mouth forming a little ‘o’. It was almost like Yuta couldn’t trust his own eyes that Sicheng had came back.

Jisung was the second to move. He pried Chenle away from the Chinese boy and wrapped Sicheng in a hug of his own. Jisung whispered something to Sicheng, Renjun noticed, but he couldn’t form what he had said. 

The boy to Renjun’s right was the third to react. Jaemin stood up, his smile gleaming brightly as it always did, and quite literally  _ crashed  _ Sicheng with a hug. Renjun noticed again that Sicheng’s arms still didn’t move one bit. 

Renjun noticed Mark and Jeno grinning towards Sicheng. He noticed that Sicheng hadn’t mad eye contact with anyone yet, besides one. He was staring dead straight at Yuta, who seemed to still be in shock. 

Jaehyun was the next to move. Jaehyun had helped Sicheng with his Korean pronunciation, Renjun knew. Jaehyun engulfed the fragile boy into a short and quick hug, whispering something into his ear. Renjun still couldn't understand what it was. Sicheng still wouldn’t remove his eyes from Yuta.

Taeyong, Lucas, and Jungwoo followed quickly after; Taeil and Doyoung following them. It reminded Renjun of when he had first met everyone at Chenle’s summer house, and how it was like going down a line and meeting new people. Except there were no words being exchanged in the current situation.

Ten and Kun were next, who both seemed on the verge of tears. Ten whispered-yelled something to Sicheng, which Renjun made out as “you fucking idiot”. Renjun knew that trio was very close, but seeing Kun start crying was something Renjun would have never expected to see. According to Jaemin, the last time Kun cried was when the disastrous night happened to Jeno.

Renjun decided, once Kun and Ten let go of Sicheng, that it was his turn to go up to Sicheng. He calmly approached, even though his insides were running crazy. He hugged Sicheng, squeezing his eyes shut to stop any tears from falling and whispering, “I didn’t think you were going to come back. You fucking  _ scared  _ me. I was just in the bathroom crying because of you; you  _ fucker _ .” Renjun felt Sicheng’s body slightly relax around his own, but he still felt no arms embracing him back.

And then came the final show of the night. Everyone watched with owl wide eyes as Sicheng slowly approached Yuta. He still hadn’t stopped staring at the older, but his expression was almost soft. Yuta looked scared to say anything to the boy. The two hadn’t communicated in so long that it almost seemed foreign. 

“Yuta,” Sicheng whispered, holding out his hand for Yuta to take. 

In a flash, Yuta’s arms were gripping Sicheng, and his face was nuzzled into Sicheng’s neck. Renjun noticed that Sicheng put his arms around Yuta, too, and was gripping tightly with equal strength. 

It didn’t take Renjun long to notice that both of them were crying.

Renjun had never seen Sicheng cry, even when they watched puppy and baby compilations. Not even when Sicheng brought Renjun along to his great grandmother’s funeral. 

“I’m sorry,” Yuta choked out. “I shouldn’t have lashed out on you; I’m a fucking  _ idiot _ . I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay,” replied Sicheng. “I’m sorry, too, for leaving for so long.”

After exchanging a few more words that were too quiet for Renjun to hear, the couple kissed. Renjun felt a sigh of relief taking over him, as if a heavy boulder was being taken off his back. Normally he hated seeing couples (other than Jaemin and himself) kiss, but the kiss reminded him of  _ forgiveness _ .

Sicheng turned to the rest of them, smiling brightly. The heavy burden had been taken off his shoulder. “Everyone sit down; I have news to share. Yuta, stay standing. You’re apart of it.” The group, surprised and intrigued, took their seats. Yuta just looked extremely confused. 

“While I was in China,” Sicheng started, “I did a few things. The first thing I did was I gathered my whole family and caught up with them. It was great, really great, but I felt like I was holding back on them. So, I told them that I’m gay.” Sicheng made it seem like it was the most common announcement ever. “My little cousin asked, ‘What kind of gay?’, and I said, ‘I’m Yuta gay’.” Renjun had to chuckle to himself at that. Sicheng had FaceTimed his cousins with Renjun before, and he could envision a little girl in pigtails sassily saying that. Sicheng continued. “Everyone looked really shocked at first. My uncle and grandpa kind of looked mad at first. They still could be, but I don’t really know. They asked what Yuta gay meant, and so I told them that I have a boyfriend named Yuta that I love with my whole heart. My parents looked  _ so  _ confused at first. I told them all about you,” said Sicheng, directing it to Yuta. “I told them how your smile is the prettiest thing ever and it lights up my day, and how you always make me watch Japanese films with you. I told them how you always stand up for what’s right, and you don’t like to lose during challenges. I showed them a bunch of pictures of you, too. Do you know what they said?” 

Almost theatrically, everyone leaned in.

“They wanted to know when they can meet you. So I told them we’ll visit soon for a week, and I’ll show you around my hometown.” 

Renjun could’ve sworn he saw stars glisten through Yuta’s eyes. But maybe that was just the tears.

“I have one other thing for you, though.” Sicheng turned directly to Yuta and took a deep breath. “You’ve shown me so much in these years of dating. Honestly! When we visited Osaka and you showed me all the food and your old bedroom, it was such an amazing experience. I’ve learned so much about you, and I never want to stop. I feel so comfortable with you, like we were meant to be from the start.”

When Renjun saw  _ it  _ in Sicheng’s back hand from his seat on the floor, he nearly audibly gasped.

Sicheng continued on. “I don’t care if you talk to Hansol. I really don’t. I trust you, and I know you’d never do anything to me. I love and trust you more than anything.” Sicheng tucked his head in shyness, nibbling on his lip. “I guess what I’m saying is…” 

He pulled out a velvet red box with a shy smile on his face.

“Nakamoto Yuta, will you marry me? I’d much rather introduce you to my parents as my fiance when you meet them.”

At that moment, everyone gasped for real. Renjun couldn’t help himself from grinning like an idiot. Neither could Yuta, who looked like he was ready to have the wedding right there and then.

Renjun had never been more happy to see two of his friends kissing. It was a cheerful kiss. Yuta had mumbled a short ‘yes’ in between breaths, forehead against Sicheng’s. The rest of the group were ecstatically screaming and jumping in excitement. Renjun had ran straight into Jaemin’s arms for a bear hug; Jaemin had picked him up, while shaking him in the process. 

“Babe,” Yuta, tears falling down his face, asked. “When are we meeting them?”

“Next week. I already got tickets.” replied an equally crying Sicheng, pulling out two flight tickets out of his pocket. 

Renjun watched happily from Jaemin’s arms, tears unconsciously falling down his own face. 

And just like that, everything fell back into place. (Renjun wondered, at the back of his mind, when he and Jaemin would be in that position.)

 

*

 

The next morning, Renjun woke up in Jaemin’s tight grasp on Ten’s couch. Memories from the night before slowly started filling back into his mind. He could remember how Johnny had pulled out the beer and wine for ‘celebration purposes’. Renjun also remembered how he took one drink from his cup and spit it out because it tasted worse than dirt. The sunlight was peaking slightly through the living room curtain, leaving just enough room for Renjun to look at the boy next to him. He knew Jaemin liked alcohol but didn’t frequently drink it. Last night, though, Renjun remember how Jaemin had drank just a  _ little  _ more than normal.  _ Maybe that’s why he’s sleeping so soundly,  _ thought Renjun.  _ He normally is a light sleeper.  _

Jaemin reeked of beer and sweat, but Renjun couldn’t help himself from caressing his boyfriend’s cheek and kissing his nose. Jaemin was just… ethereal. He was beautiful on from the inside and out. Renjun kept pressing little pecks onto Jaemin’s face, just appreciating the boy in his arms.

 

If Jaemin was honest, he was fake sleeping. He had felt Renjun touching his face early that morning and had woken up instantly. No alcohol could stop his morning person habits. But when Renjun kissed Jaemin’s nose and whispered, “Beautiful”, Jaemin wanted nothing but to be asleep again. He loved the way Renjun softly placed kisses on his eyelids and on his forehead. He never wanted Renjun to stop. The way Renjun ever so gently treated his sleeping state was wonderful, even though Jaemin knew he smelled of alcohol. Jaemin had to will himself from not smiling with every new kiss Renjun planted. That’s when he heard it.

“Renjun? You’re up?” Jeno’s voice was heard. Jaemin tried his best to continue his act. He knew that if Donghyuck was there, he’d be caught instantly.

“Hey Jeno, good morning,” replied Renjun, with a groggily voice that told Jaemin that Renjun hadn’t spoken or drank any water yet that morning. “Where’s Kun?”

“He had work to get to,” said Jeno. “He had to work early this morning. It’s around seven right now.” Jaemin sent a secret blessing to his work, because he and Renjun didn’t work weekends. 

“Ah…” Renjun practically breathed on Jaemin’s face, telling Jaemin that he was looking at him. 

Jeno’s footsteps got a little closer. “Do you want to come pick up some breakfast with me? I totally get it if you want to keep cuddling with Nana, but-”

“I’ll come, Jeno.” Jaemin secretly wished Renjun would’ve said no and that the boy would still be snuggling him. Almost out of earshot, Jaemin heard the last part of the conversation.

“You really love him, hm?” asked Jeno. Rustles of coats were heard.

And the last reply, which left Jaemin’s heart warm and happy, was from Renjun. “Yeah, I really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm very sorry for not updating a lot... school has been hectic so I've had no time to write.   
> Happy Halloween! I hope your day is going very well.  
> -bbysnny


	10. unbelievably happy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Should we be concerned?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would just like to say right now: I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN 30000 YEARS. School has been super hectic for me (i'm a sophomore and it literally sucks) and I've had NO time to write. I'm very sorry! It's Christmas break right now, and I'm going to try to write as much as I can! Thank you for being patient:)

_ i need someone _

_ who knows struggle _

_ as well as i do _

_ someone _

_ willing to hold my feet in their lap _

_ on days it is too difficult to stand _

_ the type of person who gives _

_ exactly what i need _

_ before i even know i need it _

_ the type of lover who hears me _

_ even when i do not speak _

_ is the type of understanding _

_ i demand _

 

_ \- the type of lover i need / rupi kaur  _

  
  


 

Renjun had learned a lot about Jaemin since he met the younger boy. How the younger loved music and dancing; how he adored puppies and cute objects. The one thing he had never discovered, however, was Jaemin’s love for books and poetry. The two were out shopping Saturday afternoon for groceries, and Jaemin had squeezed Renjun’s hand as they passed one store.  _ The book store.  _ Renjun took one glance at Jaemin’s eyes, and he could tell that Jaemin needed to go in. 

“ _ Babe, _ ” started Jaemin. Renjun could hear the begging falling out of his boyfriend’s mouth before it even came. “Can we  _ please  _ go into here?”

Renjun just smiled, nooded, and let Jaemin drag him in. “Minnie,” he said as Jaemin drooled over the sight in front of him. Books upon books were surrounding them. “I didn’t know you liked reading.”

Jaemin awkwardly shifted, suddenly looking bashfully away from Renjun, scanning the titles of random books. “It’s always been a hobby of mine.”

“Why’d I never discover this?” There was no venom behind Renjun’s words, just pure curiosity. Renjun wondered how Jaemin could keep something this big in hush. 

“I thought you-” Jaemin’s eyes flared open as he spotted something a few feet from him. “Rennie, look! It’s the _poetry section_!” He sprinted to the section, instantly grabbing at books. “Confessions of a Wallflower? Milk and Honey? Renjun, I- oh my gosh, _babe, it’s Soft Thorns_.” 

Renjun wished he had a fraction of a clue of what Jaemin was talking about, but he didn’t. He snaked his arms around the front of Jaemin’s torso, pressed a chaste peck to his shoulder, and asked, “Elaborate, please?”

Jaemin had almost seven books in his hand from what Renjun could count. “Okay, Ren, so,” he smacked his lips. “Confessions of a Wallflower is written by Juansen Dizon, and I love it so much. He’s such a good writer. Milk and Honey is by Rupi Kaur, and I’m not even kidding you when I say this, but I cried when I first read one page. Soft Thorns is by Bridgett Devoue, and I love her poetry  _ so much _ . I’m a sucker for poetry books, and I  _ need  _ to get these books.” 

“You haven’t gotten any of them yet?”

“No; I’ve been scared that my cousins will come over and ruin them. But now I live alone- no, with you, and I’ll be able to get them!” 

Renjun furrowed his eyebrows. Jaemin had been moved out of his parents’ house since  _ college _ . Surely he would’ve bought them by now, right? He sidestepped to be in front of Jaemin, looking his straight in the eyes. “What’s the real reason?”

“I…” Jaemin deflated. “I didn’t want anyone finding out I like poetry. The poetry I like is deep and meaningful… and I’m sure that if my mom or Hyuck would’ve found it, they would get concerned about me. I thought you would, too.”

“Should we be concerned?” 

“No, not at all! It’s just, I feel a lot. I get a lot of emotions, you know? When my friends are sad, I’m sad. When my friends are happy, I’m happy. I can find pieces of them or random feelings in the poetry. And sometimes, they are… sad. Sadder than they should be, at least. I just love reading deep books and meaningful poetry,” rambled Jaemin.

Renjun gently placed his hand in Jaemin’s and slightly squeezed it. “Minnie, you should never feel ashamed about your likings, okay? Loving poetry is totally okay; it’s just like me loving the stars and astrology. I never want you to feel like you have to hide something about you, especially something you’re so passionate about. I love  _ you,  _ and I love any passions you have. If it’s important to you, it’s important to me.”

Jaemin blinked away his glassy eyes. “Thank you, love,” he whispered. “That means a lot to me. It means so much.”

_ I’m totally falling in love with you all over again _ , thought Renjun. “Let’s get those three you wanted, hm?”

“Thank you, Rennie!” Jaemin bounced like an excited child on Christmas morning; his eyes sparkling with happiness. He set back the other three books he had been holding and followed Renjun to the checkout.

 

**3:02 PM**

**love love**

 

**TY:** so, yuwin,, are you thinking of getting married soon or later?

 

**junguwu:** they better wait until after me & cas. we called dibs first

 

**yuta’s:** just because of that,,, a spring wedding!!

 

**junguwu:** oh fuck you bitch come fight me

 

**Taeil’s:** children cover your ears!!!!!!

 

**pwarkie:** i’m literally nearly 24

 

**DY’s:** yall hear summ?????

 

**baby♥:** soooo yuwin?

 

**sicheng’s:** we were joking. We have no date yet

**sicheng’s:** we want to meet the family first and have some relaxation

 

**yuta’s:** speaking of which,,, we’ll be leaving monday for china!!

**yuta’s:** to meet my parents!! 

 

**lelele:** when are you coming back:(((((((

 

**yuta’s:** we’ll be back next saturday!

 

sooooo long wow :(

 

**supportsystem:** we’ll miss you!!!

 

**xuxi:** say hi to your parents for me

 

**TY:** jaehyun says to stay safe!

 

**sicheng’s:** we willl!

 

Later that night, Renjun was comfortably sprawled across their couch with a throw blanket on his lap, watching TV. Jaemin had left to go take a shower, and his new poetry books were laying on the coffee table.  _ Would Jaemin care if I looked at one? _ wondered Renjun. He put away all bad thoughts because it was Jaemin, and he grabbed Confessions of a Wallflower. Renjun carefully looked through it, making sure to not create any creases or wrinkles.

“This is interesting,” mumbled Renjun to no one in particular. “And the sun looked down at her and said, ‘wake up. Everything that is asleep inside of you. Wake them up. You are too delicate to heal this way.’” His eyes widened in wonder. “If he thinks of his friends while reading these, who does he think of for this one?” Renjun tried his hardest to just put down the book and focus on the TV show, but he was too intrigued in Jaemin’s book. “‘I prepare for the arrival of the future. I mourn for the departure of the past.’ That’s a nice one, hm.” He picked up Soft Thorns and paged through it. “I wonder who this one’s about, too. ‘I’m forever yours. Whether you want me or not.’” 

Renjun was so zoned in on reading that he didn’t hear Jaemin enter the living room. “What are you doing, babe?” asked Jaemin loudly. 

Renjun flinched in place, gently setting the book back on the coffee table. “Gosh! You scared me. I was- well, I was reading your books?” He turned to see his boyfriend in just pajama pants and a towel around his neck. Renjun had always thought Jaemin’s wet hair was adorable.

“Why does that sound like a question?” teased Jaemin as he kissed the top of Renjun’s head. Seeing Renjun’s worried expression, he added, “Don’t worry. You can read them whenever you want. They’re  _ our’s _ .” 

Renjun took a deep breath of relief. “Okay, good. I was wondering, who are some of these about to you?” 

“Which ones?”

He grabbed the books and quickly opened to the pages from earlier. “Who’s this wake up one about?”

“For me, that was about Taeyong. It was before he was dating Jaehyun. There were some high school jocks that always liked to pick on him… He was super skinny back then. Too skinny. He always ended up overworking himself just to get rid of stress, but it would only create more stress. He was trying to heal himself by working himself too hard so that he didn’t have energy to think about his problems, but it wasn’t healthy at all. Doyoung helped him a lot during that time. He eventually just gave up walked up to Tae, slapped him, and told him to get his shit together. It surprisingly worked! Tae started to improve, little by little.”

“Wow.” Renjun didn’t know what to say. To him, Taeyong always seemed like a strong willed man that had everything figured out. “What about this future and past one?” 

“I found that one online when we were close to graduating. I was nervous because I wasn’t sure if things would change between us as a couple when we transitioned to college. High school was so amazing with you; I never wanted it to end!”

“Has post high school been good for you, then?” asked Renjun nervously. He wanted Jaemin to only be happy.

“Of course it has, Rennie. It’s more than good for me. More than great, even. You make me so unbelievably happy.”

Renjun decided the books didn’t matter anymore, and the only thing he needed to do was smother his shirtless boyfriend in kisses. He pressed a long kiss to Jaemin’s lips, savoring the saltiness taste. “I love you. I love you so much, Jaemin.”

Jaemin kissed Renjun’s nose softly. “I love you too, Renjun. More than anything.” 

After a few more minutes of content kissing, Jaemin ruined the moment. “Will you help me dry my hair now?”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i figured i'd give a short, soft chapter since i haven't written literally since before october. (rip) I'll try my best to continue writing! 
> 
> i'm a sucker for poetry, and I JUST FOUND MILK AND HONEY AT THE BOOKSTORE. so i'm happy, and that was my inspiration for this. 
> 
> think of this as.... the calm before the storm.
> 
> (oops. sorry)


	11. uncertainty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are we going to get married someday?” Renjun’s words were barely audible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is mainly a text chapter,, but hope you enjoy!!
> 
> just a reminder:   
> the chats are usually in jaemin's pov  
> baby is renjun, thebestestfriendever is hyuck, and supportsystem is jeno!

_the thing_

_worth holding on to_

_would not have let go_

_-rupi kaur_

 

 

 

*approximately one month later*

 

“Can you believe it’s only two weeks until Johnny and Ten’s wedding?” gushed Renjun one Saturday morning to Jaemin. The couple was sitting in their shared bathtub, relaxing to calming music. Jaemin was reading a book, and Renjun was simply appreciating the view in front of him. _His boyfriend._ The words felt weird to Renjun, and he couldn’t even comprehend why. They had been dating since forever, but recently the words were so weird to say.

Jaemin looked up from the book he was reading with a grin. “I can’t wait for it! Johnten are the kings of throwing parties; it’ll be totally awesome.”

“And then we have Lucas and Jungwoo’s in summer, hm? And then Sicheng and Yuta’s.”

Jaemin set down his book on the floor next to the tub, returning all his attention to Renjun. “So many weddings; I’m excited! I _love_ weddings.” Jaemin motioned for Renjun to come near him, and Renjun followed. His back was now leaned up against Jaemin’s chest, feeling his boyfriend’s warmth and inhaling the scent of the bubbles they had filled the tub with.

“We have to dogsit Mochi later today. Chenle and Jisung are out of town,” Renjun stated as if his boyfriend already didn’t know.

Jaemin gently grabbed Renjun’s hand and gave a quick kiss to it. “I know; Sungie told me earlier this week. It’s going to be fun!” Upon Renjun’s quietness, he asked, “What’s on your mind, love?”

“Are we going to get married someday?” Renjun’s words were barely audible.

“Of course we are, baby. You’re my soulmate.” Jaemin carefully flipped Renjun to face him. “I” a kiss to the forehead. “Love” a kiss to the nose. “You” a kiss to one cheek. “With” a kiss to the other cheek. “My” a kiss to one side of his neck. “Whole” a kiss to the other side of his neck. “Heart” a kiss on the lips that was filled with deep love and affection. Renjun instantly melted into Jaemin’s lips, never wanting to stop. The taste of Jaemin’s mouth seeped into Renjun’s brain like an intoxication. _I’ll never get used to this,_ thought Renjun. _I’ll never stop kissing Jaemin._ The couple continued kissing until the water turned cold.

 

**10:33 AM**

**love love**

 

 **lelele:** hey hoes!! sungie is driving right now, but i just thought i’d share the view

**lelele:**

 

woah, pretty

ren we should go on a trip!!

 

 **baby♥:** yes we should!

 

 **tennie:** wow that’s really pretty

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** i love it!

 **thebestestfriendever:** have fun on your mini vaca<3

 

 **lelele:** i love youuuu hyuckie

 

 **baby♥:** :(((

 

 **lelele:** i love you too renjun you know that

 

 **DY’s:** johnten, where’s your honeymoon gonna be??

 

 **tennie:** barcelona, spain

 **tennie:** we’re leaving the day after our wedding

 **tennie:** will be gone for 2 weeks !

 

 **lelele:** wow. I can’t wait to get married now

 

 **baby♥:** me too, honestly

 

 **supportsystem:** that’s so great. I’m so happy for you two!

 

 **junguwu:** i’m trying to pick out the honeymoon for me & xuxi, too

 **junguwu:** he wants somewhere in the US but I want something cool like the maldives

 

 **baby♥:** if you don’t do the maldives i’ll be disappointed

 

 **xuxi:** babe! I said i’d go wherever you want

 

 **junguwu:** maldives it is<3333

 

ahh so happy for all of you

 

 **supportsystem:** hey kun and i need to tell you all something

 

 **lelele:** what is it???

 

???

 

 **kunnie:** we decided to break up

 

 **baby♥:** wait really???????

 

 **junguwu:** omg bitch what

 

WHAT

 

 **DY’s:** hold up WHAT

 

 **Taeil’s:** WAIT BITC HWHWAT

 

 **supportsystem:** guys!!! Calm down

 

 **kunnie:** it was a mutual breakup

 **kunnie:** we decided we like being bff’s better!

 

 **supportsystem:** both of us just want to be single

 **supportsystem:** so we’re going to keep living together

 

 **kunnie:** we still love each other! Just platonically

 

 **supportsystem:** it wasn’t anyone’s fault, we just didn’t feel right

 

 **kunnie:** together

 **kunnie:** we’re very happy best friends though!!!

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** awh. i’m happy you’re good then

 

 **baby♥:** ok, as long as you’re fine

 

thank goodness you two are still friends

 

 **DY’s:** glad you were able to talk it out maturely!

 

 **lelele:** i support you no matter what!

 

 **junguwu:** i love both of you!

 

 **supportsystem:** you guys are the best

 

 **kunnie:** ily all <3333

 

**1:54 PM**

**love love**

 

 **pwarkie:** look at this view!

**pwarkie:**

**pwarkie:** and look at this beautiful view

**pwarkie:**

**pwarkie:** yall i am in love with zhong chenle he’s so adorable

 

 **baby♥:** awe so cute

 

 **kunnie:** you two are the cutest

 

 **supportsystem:** awwwwww

 

 **lelele:** i love you sungie

 **lelele:** come catch this smooch

 

 **baby♥:** i would say disgusting… but this is too cute

 

I love couples

You two are precious

 

 **TY:** you two are BABIES no kissing

 

 **junguwu:** oh shut up tae

 

 **TY:** my children are defying me. 0_0

 

 **Taeil’s:** boohoo you whore

 

 **TY:** doyoung come catch these fists

 

 **Taeil’s:** you couldn’t hurt a fly with those fists

 

 **TY:** fuck you

 

 **Taeil’s:** no thanks, I have a boyfriend

 

 **TY:** i hate you

 

 **Taeil’s:** thanks boo hate you more

 

 **junguwu:** some days i get concerned about you two,

 **junguwu:** but then other days i want to see you actually fight

 

 **kunnie:** let’s be real. doyoung would win

 

 **baby♥:** my money is on taeyong!

 

 **kunnie:** are you kidding? doyoung would bite ty with his huge rabbit teeth

 

 **Taeil’s:** fuck you

 

 **kunnie:** excuse you?

 

 **Taeil’s:** i’m sorry i didn’t mean it please forgive me kun ily!!!

 

lmao

but doyoung would win

Let’s be real… taeyong has no muscle

 

 **TY:** jaemin!!!!!

 **TY:** how rude:((

 

 **baby♥:** tae i think you would win!

 

 **TY:** you’re my favorite now

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** as tae’s husband, i know the true answer

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** doyoung would win.

 

 **TY:** JAEHYUN

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** honey, you’re too soft to fight back

 

 **TY:** :((( i’ve been betrayed by my own husband

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** i love you and all

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** but i’m right

 

 **Taeil’s:** haha take that

 

 **TY:** doyoung i will kill you

 

 **Taeil’s:** with those puny arms? I’d like to see you try

 

 **kunnie:** never a dull moment with these two, hm?

 

 **junguwu:** fight!!!!!

 

 **baby♥:** FIGHT

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** FIGHT

 

DON’T FIGHT

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** tae let’s just go make out and cuddle, okay?

 

 **TY:** okay!!!!!!!!!!

 **TY:** rabbit face, this isn’t over

 

 **Taeil’s:** mmmmmmhmmmm

 **Taeil’s:** come at me anytime boo

 

**2:26 PM**

**#whowillgetmarriedfirst**

 

 **pwarkie:** okay.. After that fight we’re moving to this chat again

 

We havent used this in forevfer oof

 

 **baby♥:** send more pictures!!!!

 

 **lelele:** are you sure you wouldn’t mind??   


**supportsystem:** we want to see!!

 

 **lelele:** we take a lot of couple pics though…

 

 **baby♥:** that’s okay!! we’re all (besides jeno) couples here

 **baby♥:** we understand couple pics are important

 **baby♥:** so share!!

 

 **lelele:** sungie do it?

 

 **pwarkie:** alright! Be prepared for lots of soft coupley moments

 

Jisung park? Going soft?

wow

 

 **pwarkie:** lele always makes me soft

 **pwarkie:** N E ways

 

 **lelele:** ok the pictures!

 **lelele:** just wait im finding a good one

 

 **supportsystem:** jaem and renjun do you mind if i come over?

 **supportsystem:** kun got a call into work and i don’t wnat to be alone

 

Yeah of course!

we’re at chensung’s house dogsitting

come whenever

 

 **baby♥:** are you okay with the breakup jeno?

 

 **supportsystem:** yeah i actually completely am

 **supportsystem:** i love him

 **supportsystem:** but not in that way

 

 **pwarkie:** send pics of my baby mochi!

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** nana can i come over too?

 

yes of course?

mark’s working i suppose..

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** he is

 **thebestestfriendever:** there’s a new artist making a whole album or smth

 

you two talked about it?

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** no.. his coworker answered when i called earlier

 

oh hyuckie

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** jeno, can you pick me up?

 

 **supportsystem:** leaving in five for you hyuck!

 

**baby♥:**

**baby♥:** mochi’s growing up so well

 

 **lelele:** my babyyyy

 

**thebestestfriendever:**

**thebestestfriendever:** he charged into the apartment and found a guitar

**thebestestfriendever:**

**thebestestfriendever:** what a dork

 **thebestestfriendever:** HE’S ATTACKING RME NJWO

 

 **baby♥:** you probably deserve it

 

**thebestestfriendever:**

**thebestestfriendever:** we’re not bring the cat YOU WHORE

 

 **supportsystem:** :(((((((( pleaaaaasssseeeee

 

mochi wouldn’t like that so no

 

 **pwarkie:** no cats near mochi

 

 **supportsystem:** fine:(

 

 **baby♥:** are you nearly here?

 

**supportsystem:**

**supportsystem:** whore

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** in the car rn!!

 

 **lelele:** did you forget ab me & sungie already:((

 

 **baby♥:** no send your pics now <333

 

**lelele:**

**lelele:** sungie while we were driving<3

 

cute

 

**lelele:**

**lelele:** currently!

 

 **baby♥:** awe is that sungie’s sweatshirt you’re wearing?

 

 **pwarkie:** yeah, he looks better in it

 

 **lelele:** it smells like sung and i like it

 

awwwww

 

**lelele:**

**lelele:** sungie come backkkk

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** let’s go on a walk ppl!!!!

 

 **supportsystem:** yessss

 

Let’s go now!!!

 

 **baby♥:** yes!!

 

 **pwarkie:** lele and i are gonna go cuddle and eat byebye have a good night

 

 **baby♥:** you too<33 it’s still early here

 

**2:45 PM**

 

 **theonefromcanada:** oh you’re hanging out?

 **theonefromcanada:** why wasn’t i invited :(

 

**3:12 PM**

 

 **supportsystem:** sorry, figured you’re busy with work!!

 

you can still come if you want

 

 **baby♥:** you’re always invited,, you know that<3

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** you’re done with work???

 

 **theonefromcanada:** no we’re on a snack break

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** oh

 

 **theonefromcanada:** if i get off work early i’ll come maybe!

 **theonefromcanada:** no promises though

 **theonefromcanada:** have fun though!!

 

 **baby♥:** love youuu

 

Jaemin eyed Donghyuck up from where he was seated. The boy seemed emotionless; he made no weird expressions about Mark’s behavior. _Strange,_ though Jaemin. _He must be used to this._

 

**6:34 PM**

**#whowillgetmarriedfirst**

 

5 minutes go they were fighting

But now they’re sharing food

 

 **pwarkie:** share more!!

 

**baby♥:**

**baby♥:** i love jaemin

 

I love YOU

 

**baby♥:**

**baby♥:** nohyuck are idiots send tweet

 

 **pwarkie:** nohyuck??

 

 **baby♥:** donghyuck&jeno

 

**thebestestfriendever:**

**thebestestfriendever:** renmin is cuteeeee

 

 **baby♥:** we know

 

“This is the most fun I’ve had in awhile,” sighed Donghyuck. The four were seated at swings at a random park near Chenle and Jisung’s condo. Renjun was on Jaemin’s lap, comfortably nestled into his boyfriend’s neck. Donghyuck and Jeno were seated on the swings to Jaemin’s left, gently swinging to themselves.

“You know you can always tell us anything, right Hyuck?” said Jaemin. “We care about you a lot.”

“I know,” responded Donghyuck, looking up at the darkening sky. “There’s just not a lot to tell you, I guess.”

Jaemin eyed his best friend carefully. Donghyuck was notorious for hiding his feelings, but Jaemin never expected Donghyuck to hide them from _him_. They’d been best friends since they were toddlers.

At the concerned glances, Donghyuck half rolled his eyes. “I’m serious, guys. I’m fine.”

“You don’t have to lie to us,” whispered Jeno.

Jaemin could see Donghyuck’s eyes narrowing for a split second, his mouth slightly opened. Jaemin could feel Renjun slowly drifting off; his grip was becoming less tight by the second. But Renjun wasn’t his focus at that moment; his best friend was. “Just tell us, Hyuck,” he softly spoke.

Jaemin was _sure_ that would break Donghyuck into talking, but it didn’t. Donghyuck stood up quickly, his face brightening up. “Guys, let’s go get ice cream!”

“I can’t,” replied Jaemin. “I’m pretty sure Rennie’s asleep right now; I should get him home.”

“So cute,” cooed Jeno. “You two really are so adorable together.”

“That’s fine,” said Donghyuck. He threw his arms around Jeno’s shoulder. “Jeno and I will just go instead! Tell Renjun goodnight, okay?”

“Will do.”

 

**9:03 PM**

**#whowillgetmarriedfirst**

 

 **theonefromcanada:** are you guys still hanging out?

 **theonefromcanada:** i’m off work now!!

 

oh sorry mark… renjun fell asleep so I’m taking him home

Jeno and hyuck are getting ice cream right now

 

 **theonefromcanada:** oh..

 **theonefromcanada:** are they hanging out after?

 

I’m not sure  


**thebestestfriendever:** jeno and i are having a sleepover at his

 **thebestestfriendever:** don’t wait up!

 

 **theonefromcanada:** oh

 

**9:05 PM**

**love love**

 

 **theonefromcanada:** anyone want to hang out right now?

 **theonefromcanada:** i just got off

 

 **TY:** come over to mine, jae and i are having wine!

 

 **theonefromcanada:** ok, onmyway

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h a h a  
> i'm sorry in advance 
> 
> someone come talk to me on twitter i have an mri tonight and i'm bored and i need friends  
> ^seriously.... pleaseee
> 
> (i'm posting this now bc i cannnnoooot deal with all these pics on my computer lol)
> 
> N E ways,, have a good day everyone!


	12. burning tension

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Donghyuck, we need to talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *nervously sweats* 
> 
> (reminder that supportsystem is jeno & thebestestfriendever is hyuck on jaemin's phone!!)

_you were so distant_

_i forgot you were there at all_

_-rupi kaur_

 

 

 

Jaemin woke up the next morning as he normally did. Renjun curled into his side, the morning sun lighting the room, and a warm feeling in his heart. It was Sunday morning, which meant only one thing: their usual routine of cooking breakfast together. Jaemin didn’t want to wake up Renjun, so he grabbed his phone, seeing an unusual amount of messages from an unusual sender. From _Mark_.

 

**6:33 AM**

**theonefromcanada**

 

Hey jaemin

i realize you’re probably asleep,,

I couldn’t sleep last night

I just…  
you’re his best friend so

i feel like hyucks avoiding me??

he won’t call during lunch like he usually does

i don’t want to make a big deal out of it bc johnten’s wedding

it’s in like two weeks and i don’t want to start drama

but i miss him

i miss hyuck

i don’t know what i did wrong

he’s with jeno right now

I stayed overnight at jaeyong’s

And it was fun and all

but it made me miss hyuck even more

he’s so distant…

what did i ever do wrong???

ugh

i’m sorry i’m bothering you

it’s sunday oh

you have your morning breakfast with renjun

Have fun!!

don’t worry about me

i’m sorry that this is long

enjoy your day with renjun:)

 

**8:04 AM**

 

mark

ren is still asleep

You could NEVER bother me

i may be hyuck’s best friend, but that doesn’t mean you’re not my close friend either

I care about you just as much

 

hi nana

i’m sorry

 

don’t apologize!

i’ll just reply to some of the messages now

i think you should talk to him before the wedding

There’s no use for awkward tension at a party, right?

how long has this been going on??

the distance?

 

almost., two months

i don’t know what i did

 

mark,,

 

do you know??

 

i think??

i have an assumption

 

tell me, please

 

ok so

you work hard

You work a LOT

you put all your energy into work

which is good!!

it’s just- i feel like hyuck think’s you’re putting your work before him

like you come home late, barely see him,

and then leave early in the morning

just because you work so much

you’re such a hardworking person

but it’s good to take time to relax, right?

I think he feels neglected

as if you don’t have any time for him

 

it’s because of my work??

 

if it’s not because of that idk what it is

 

i’ve just been working!!

why is he mad about that??

 

welll... when was the last time you had a date night?

or a cuddle night??

or any couple time??

 

…

like,, two months..

 

do you see what im getting at

he probably feels lonely

 

why won’t he just talk to me about it?

i’d gladly take off work for him

 

idk it’s hyuck

He doesn’t want to bother you probably

 

:((

 

the group chat misses you too,,

 

??

 

you like never talk anymore in it..

you used to always spark conversations

and be all happy

tell us about your coworkers or the artists in the studio

but now you say one word every two weeks

and it’s killing us, too

we all miss you, too

it’s not just hyuck

 

oh nana

I don’t know what to do now

He hasn’t come back for days

 

wait what

 

shit

forget i said that

I didn’t mean to send that

 

No

What????

explain???

 

he...

when i usually come home, he’s waiting in bed or on the couch for me.

but now he hasn’t been

like.. i don’t know the last time he was here..

it’s been at least a week

 

Why didn’t you tell me sooner????

have you tried talking to him?????

 

yes... he just plays it off and changes the subject

To my work

 

i’m going to fucking kill him

 

no !! i need him !!

don’t get mad at him

i probably deserve this..

 

Mark wtf

no one deserves this

You may not have been giving him attention or effort,

but that’s no reason to leave.

is this your day off??

 

yes

i’m gonna go home after breakfast with jae

tae had to go fix smth at the shop

a coffee machine broke or something

 

i’m gonna talk to him, okay?

I’ll do it after breakfast

you keep trying to talk to him

You two are so close, you can’t just end like this

 

Thank you, nana

I appreciate it

 

of course

ily<3

 

ily2<3

 

To Jaemin’s left, Renjun squirmed, a sign that he was waking up.

“Hey, baby,” whispered Jaemin, kissing Renjun’s temple softly. His boyfriend’s eyes fluttered open with a small smile on his face. (Jaemin could never get used to that. Renjun’s morning eyes were the prettiest.)

“Morning,” Renjun pouted. Jaemin had learned that Renjun had the most adorable pouty face in the mornings. He thought it was the cutest thing ever.

“What should we make this morning?”

“Hm…” Renjun rolled over, stretching out on their shared bed. “How does french toast sticks sound?”

Jaemin stole a quick peck on Renjun’s upper back before standing up. “It sounds great!”

 

Renjun wasn’t stupid; he could tell something was up with Jaemin. The younger boy wasn’t focused on the french toast sticks they were making. Jaemin had spaced out a total of four whole times until Renjun got too fed up with it to function. He walked behind Jaemin and kissed his nape. “Minnie, what’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“It’s Mark and Hyuck…” Jaemin decided to just hand his phone over for Renjun to see his previous chat with Mark.

“Oh no,” muttered Renjun as he read through the messages. “That’s rough.” He turned to face Jaemin. “Is that why you seem so tense right now?” Jaemin let out a short ‘yes’, and Renjun knew that he needed to do something. Forgetting about the food, the shorter swung his hands behind Jaemin’s neck, looking him directly in the eyes.

Renjun gently massaged Jaemin’s neck, slowly massaging his back at the same time. “Everything’s going to be alright, love,” he whispered. “I promise.” and after a few minutes of silence: “Do you want me to talk to Hyuck? Or comfort Mark?”

“I was planning on confronting Hyuck. I think Mark could use some comfort, though. Maybe that would be a good idea.”

“Okay, Min, here’s what we’ll do. Tonight, we’ll go to Jeno’s house and confront Hyuck. After, we’ll invite Mark here, and we’ll have a cuddle night with ice cream and a movie. How does that sound?”

“It sounds perfect,” grinned Jaemin. “You’re good at comforting; do you know that?”

Renjun rolled his eyes jokingly. “Of course I do.”

 

**11:21 AM**

**love love**

 

**pwarkie:**

**pwarkie:** we don’t want to leave:(((

 

 **junguwu:** i don’t want you to leave either!!

 **junguwu:** i’m on dogsitting duties right now

 **junguwu:** don’t ever come home. I’m keeping mochi for myself

 

 **pwarkie:** welll, guess we’re leaving now..

 

 **junguwu:** listen bitch

 

 **TY:** he’s a BABY jungwoo

 **TY:** no swear words

 

 **junguwu:** ugh

 

 **ijustwantsomemilk:** when are you coming home??

 

 **pwarkie:** we’re leaving in 4 hours :(

 

 **junguwu:** four more hours with my baby!!!!

 

 **xuxi:** i’m your baby i thought :(

 

 **junguwu:** nah mochi is now

 

 **baby♥:** lmao

 

 **xuxi:** harsh

 

you tried lucas

 

 **tennie:** your efforts will be remembered

 

**3:58 PM**

**markie**

 

hey bub

 

renjun!!

i suppose,,, nana told you?

 

yes he did

i could tell something was bothering him

but!! I bring good news

 

You’ve convinced hyuckie to come home??

 

Not yet

but!

min and i are going to beat hyuck up

and then you’re coming over to ours for cuddles

with ice cream!

 

you’re beating him up?!?!?!?

 

sadly, jaemin said i couldn’t.

we’re just going to talk to him

 

Ok good

 

with maybe a few words that aren’t appropriate for children

 

renjun!

 

,...just kidding.

or maybe not

it depends how hyuck acts

 

don’t be too harsh on him:((

 

don’t worry

jaem and i can calm eachother down if needed

But just saying

min is more likely to throw the first punch than i am!!!

 

that’s because nana never gets mad

you have to royally screw up for him to be pissed at you

 

Ikr hyuck better watch his mouth tonight

it’s actually pretty funny

bc a while ago hyuck was acting like something was wrong

and nana could tell

And he wanted to confront you about it

but then i was like no let them work it out

and it seems like nothings been worked out

i remember we were talking about marriages going on or smth

 

what/??

 

like i was like when is markhyuck getting married??

and then jaemin said something

But i can’t remember what:((

 

ah that’s fine don’t worry

 

i think,, if this helps,,

hyuck feels like you don’t care anymore

like if nana wasn’t giving me attention

and never talked to me or made effort

i’d get very ticked off

i’d feel like he doesn’t care about me

 

oh dear

 

but i could be totally wrong!!

Everything will work out don’t stress

 

thank you renjun

it means a lot

 

“Love, what was Markhyuck like before I came to Korea?” asked Renjun. The couple was getting ready to leave for Jeno’s apartment, invited or not.

“They got in fights a lot, you know, like they do now,” said Jaemin. “Hyuck nagged Mark, and Mark disguised his affection with disgust. Then they suddenly started dating, I guess. Hyuck was _always_ in love with Mark, since the day they met. Mark never reciprocated it, for a while. Even though they got in fights 24/7, they always made efforts to talk it out.”

“Why?”

“Because they loved each other. To them, no fight was bigger than their love.” Jaemin slipped on his coat. “It makes me wonder why they aren’t doing that now; they obviously still love each other.”

“What were their fights like before?”

“It was usually some petty argument.. like Mark would get annoyed with Hyuck, and Hyuck would use it as an opportunity to smother Mark with affection and kisses.”

Renjun’s eyes widened. “ _Mark_? I thought he hates skinship.”

“He does.” Jaemin opened their door to let Renjun out first. “He only likes it from Hyuck.”

 

**4:15 PM**

**‘00 line = love**

 

hey hoes

renjun and i are coming over.

 

 **supportsystem:** wait what?? Why?

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** get us food while you’re at it!!

 **thebestestfriendever:** i’m craving sushi

 

 **baby♥:** and i’m craving no miscommunication

 **baby♥:** but apparently that’s not in the vocab of the day:))))))))))

 

 **supportsystem:** uh

 

 **thebestestfriendever:** no need to be petty there jun

 

 **baby♥:** there actually ,,,, is ,,,, a need but go off

 

 **supportsystem:** jaemin?????

 

 **baby♥:** he’s driving

 **baby♥:** he doesn’t let me drive when i’m mad

 

 **supportsystem:** why are you mad?

 

 **baby♥:** oh wouldn’t you like to know

 **baby♥:** you’ll find out soon enough

 

 **thebestestfriendever:**??ok

 

 **supportsystem:** sketchy

 

Jaemin thought that he was as mad as anyone could be about the situation, but he was wrong. Renjun was _worse_. Jaemin was driving, Renjun was texting, and Renjun suddenly violently chucked his phone on the car floor, huffed, and rolled his eyes simultaneously.

“What’s wrong, Ren?”

“They have the _audacity_ to act like everything’s totally normal,” gritted Renjun. “Just wait until they meet my fist.”

“No fighting, babe… We discussed this earlier.”

“I’m going to _attack_ them. We should’ve bought a baseball bat!”

 

When the couple arrived at Jeno and Kun’s shared apartment, Jaemin forced Renjun to let him knock on the door. The goal: keep Renjun’s fists from not being raised for as long as possible.

Jeno answered the door. “Hey guys! Sorry, the apartment’s really messy since we didn’t know you were coming. What-”

Renjun rolled his eyes, grabbed Jaemin’s hand, and marched right past Jeno into the apartment. He continued rage marching until he was right in front of Donghyuck, who was seated on the couch, comfortably watching tv.

Jaemin figured it’d be better for him to speak before Renjun so no Chinese swear words were released. “Donghyuck, _we need to talk_.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SORRY OKAY  
> a big fight (?) will be next chapter;);) will mark get his man back or not???  
> i hope everyone had a great new years,,, 2019 will be great!!  
> stream candle light ily all<3

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!
> 
> socials:  
> @ happybynana on twitter, instagram, & tumblr! (& pinterest..if that matters?)


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